Saturday, April 30, 2005
Madly in love
Homework:
(unchanged and unsorted)
Today
Went out with my gf this evening after iHPC quest meeting which is after PW. Hold her close to me... Feels very good. When orchard walk walk and AMK eat eat. Then we sat at a shelter at AMK park to enjoy each other's presence. It is really very nice and wonderful. Like falling in love with each other all over again. This is in-line with our monthsary celebration... Hahaz.. I love her!!!
(unchanged and unsorted)
Today
Went out with my gf this evening after iHPC quest meeting which is after PW. Hold her close to me... Feels very good. When orchard walk walk and AMK eat eat. Then we sat at a shelter at AMK park to enjoy each other's presence. It is really very nice and wonderful. Like falling in love with each other all over again. This is in-line with our monthsary celebration... Hahaz.. I love her!!!
Friday, April 29, 2005
Pictures for sharing
People at HPC quest having an arguement regarding screen resolution
Entire class mugging!
A sleepy anirudh
Boring Computing lesson
Rui Xiang with the gals, as usual
This IS James, but doesn't look like James.
Sports day tug of war. Teacher side.
Tug of war. Student side.
"Please don't shoot!!"
WTF!! Take note that this pic is taken for fun only. Models involved aren't really involved with each other.
2 Mysterious figures. Please do not circulate this picture!
Thats all for this week.
Reaching the deepest pit of the bottomless dark ocean
Homework
(Unchanged, actually the list of homework increaseda great deal, but i have yet to sort them out yet, and have not done any of them)
Her
Problems arise here and there. Like all other problems, we shall look at the most fundalmental part of the problem. We are in different class. Being in different class meant that we no longer share the same school experience, same lessons and same scolding from same teachers, and same unbearable workload. Instead, the amount of hw given to everyone by different teachers is very much the same, but its just that i simply don't give a damn, while she became so tensed up and stressed that she stuff venting her frustration on me. Prehaps, she will feel better that day, but I'll feel worst. I always seems so carefree and heckcare in school, but the reality is that i hide my stress well.
My History
My four years in the stressful oven-like environment THE CHINESE HIGH SCHOOL has taught me an important lesson regarding work management. In my third year when the first sign of Olevel loams like dark clouds above my head, i started to be tenses up and stressed, very much like what my gf is experiencing now. Everyday go home do hw, every moment worry about what hw is there to be done. Although i still have my usual cheerful self with me, i became irritated very easily and eventually ended up with the first fight of my life, with a "bulldozer" over 100KG in weight. Rather uninterestingly, i lose, and in the process of falling down, i grabbed his badge and ended up spliting his uniform into two. When Mr honyp, my form teacher then, discover this, he did not even ask me to apologise or indeed ask me to pay the bulldozer the price of his torn shirt. Prehaps its because i have that screwed up look in my eyes, prehaps i'm a good student in the eyes of most teachers, but this is indeed a lucky break.
Lesson learnt
Ever since that incident, i told myself to take things easy. One need not have to achieve greatness to be happy. The process of staying ahead of others, the process of constant worrying about work takes happiness away from you. You lose friends, you make your love ones feel bad, and generally screw your life up. You only have one life. You are in control. Live it your way. Enjoy it your way. If there are things, such as school work or jobs that must be done and you dislike it, you can simply ignore it. Just as long as you did not screw up your Alevels, or get yrself expelled, you are living your life to the fullest.
Ways of living life YOUR way
-Do things your way, you need not care about what others are doing and try to do what they are doing. You will only end up becoming a useless clone of any other person around you. Who need uncreative clones who follow trends blindly nowadays? Companies look for creative trendsetters.
-Do not think about work that need to be done, when you are not doing them. Any time not spent on work is = time to relax. You already torture yrself doing all those work. Why do you want to further torture yrself by constantly thinking about them?
-Learn to be happy. Joke, make a fool of yourself, act cute... Anything! Just as long as you live life your way, live a happy happy life. Do u want to waste your only life away working hellishly and worrying about hellish work, or do you want to spend every moment of your precious life being happy?
-Live life your way, nobody is going to force you to do anything, unless you let yourself be forced. Always remember: Live life your way!
Her again
May she be enlightened after reading this, so that i may live a happier life also.
iHPC Quest Progress
Today when to science park to attend iHPC quest competition briefing. Ate alot dring the free buffet. Haha... now still damn full. Topic is "Digital Media" using High Performance Computing. Haven't really decide what to do yet. Have to submit first draft proposal next week. Its very similar to PW. Will be damn stressed le lor...
(Unchanged, actually the list of homework increaseda great deal, but i have yet to sort them out yet, and have not done any of them)
Her
Problems arise here and there. Like all other problems, we shall look at the most fundalmental part of the problem. We are in different class. Being in different class meant that we no longer share the same school experience, same lessons and same scolding from same teachers, and same unbearable workload. Instead, the amount of hw given to everyone by different teachers is very much the same, but its just that i simply don't give a damn, while she became so tensed up and stressed that she stuff venting her frustration on me. Prehaps, she will feel better that day, but I'll feel worst. I always seems so carefree and heckcare in school, but the reality is that i hide my stress well.
My History
My four years in the stressful oven-like environment THE CHINESE HIGH SCHOOL has taught me an important lesson regarding work management. In my third year when the first sign of Olevel loams like dark clouds above my head, i started to be tenses up and stressed, very much like what my gf is experiencing now. Everyday go home do hw, every moment worry about what hw is there to be done. Although i still have my usual cheerful self with me, i became irritated very easily and eventually ended up with the first fight of my life, with a "bulldozer" over 100KG in weight. Rather uninterestingly, i lose, and in the process of falling down, i grabbed his badge and ended up spliting his uniform into two. When Mr honyp, my form teacher then, discover this, he did not even ask me to apologise or indeed ask me to pay the bulldozer the price of his torn shirt. Prehaps its because i have that screwed up look in my eyes, prehaps i'm a good student in the eyes of most teachers, but this is indeed a lucky break.
Lesson learnt
Ever since that incident, i told myself to take things easy. One need not have to achieve greatness to be happy. The process of staying ahead of others, the process of constant worrying about work takes happiness away from you. You lose friends, you make your love ones feel bad, and generally screw your life up. You only have one life. You are in control. Live it your way. Enjoy it your way. If there are things, such as school work or jobs that must be done and you dislike it, you can simply ignore it. Just as long as you did not screw up your Alevels, or get yrself expelled, you are living your life to the fullest.
Ways of living life YOUR way
-Do things your way, you need not care about what others are doing and try to do what they are doing. You will only end up becoming a useless clone of any other person around you. Who need uncreative clones who follow trends blindly nowadays? Companies look for creative trendsetters.
-Do not think about work that need to be done, when you are not doing them. Any time not spent on work is = time to relax. You already torture yrself doing all those work. Why do you want to further torture yrself by constantly thinking about them?
-Learn to be happy. Joke, make a fool of yourself, act cute... Anything! Just as long as you live life your way, live a happy happy life. Do u want to waste your only life away working hellishly and worrying about hellish work, or do you want to spend every moment of your precious life being happy?
-Live life your way, nobody is going to force you to do anything, unless you let yourself be forced. Always remember: Live life your way!
Her again
May she be enlightened after reading this, so that i may live a happier life also.
iHPC Quest Progress
Today when to science park to attend iHPC quest competition briefing. Ate alot dring the free buffet. Haha... now still damn full. Topic is "Digital Media" using High Performance Computing. Haven't really decide what to do yet. Have to submit first draft proposal next week. Its very similar to PW. Will be damn stressed le lor...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Life goes on...
I m not sure...i m confused...i m sad...i dont noe wat the hell is going on...and not tt i give a damn anyway...neither do i know why i m writing this down...
I know this isnt right for me....i knew it from the start...yet by tt time i was already too tired of doing anything...in fact...i still am. It's like a driver knowing clearly that he is heading towards a tree and yet not steering away...nor pedalling the brake. Either he is hoping the tree will somehow jump out of its way...or he is insane...or is no longer cares. Something so intense is driving me nuts...or it has already droven me nuts, but a madman doesnt know he is mad or hallucinating...does he?
Tommorow i will be receiving my Merit Award for the SSEF competition. Not a proud achievement, not even a mediorce one, in fact. Relative to our group's expectation, it sucks. Yet the award ceremony is an event tt i m looking fwd to, not because i can pon a few hours of school, but because i can reaped what i have sowed...something which i have toiled and worked hard for finally bear fruit.
Yet unfortunately, that was actually the last event from now which was actually part of me...something which i have pleasant memories of, something that will continue to live within me. I knew i carry a lot of chs memories with me...those were the days. Not that i didnt mug or what, not tt chs was an exceptionally good schl as it claimed to be, but it was the life. It was much simpler, much more lively and exuberant, much more fun than HC.
Not that i would have ever imagined me missing life in chs, esp when i was grumbling about it when i was there. About the stupid policies implemented by our corrupted principal, about stupid tests which was almost held daily. But then while we studied hard, we studied fun too. We crapped around...but it was a unique sort of it. We do fun things in the class together, legal or illegal. We heck about school rules. And in the end we scored well. We graduated.
I missed having close frenz around me so that i can confide in them. Here i felt left out. Like i never really ever belonged. Like no one will give a damn about how i felt. Here interactions, communications and relationships are superficial, like they existed for the sake of exisitance, like there isnt true, genuine sincerity at all.
I no longer want to comtemplate about whether i have made a right choice. qq has convinced me not to. Now i have to learn to live with it, despite the distinct differences, despite the fact that i have already given up. i have to learn to live with something which i have given up...
Wj asked me not to give up on the class. I find it impossible not to, cos this is already the fifth month. Yet nothing has happened, nothing is happening, and nothing will happen. I have given up trying to feel the class spirit, trying to be part of a class which is unqiue from any other.
Thinking about SSEF, there is perhaps a glimmer of hope. When i participated in SSEF, the few of them went down to support me...
But when u have given up on so many important things, giving up another is of no significance.
I know this isnt right for me....i knew it from the start...yet by tt time i was already too tired of doing anything...in fact...i still am. It's like a driver knowing clearly that he is heading towards a tree and yet not steering away...nor pedalling the brake. Either he is hoping the tree will somehow jump out of its way...or he is insane...or is no longer cares. Something so intense is driving me nuts...or it has already droven me nuts, but a madman doesnt know he is mad or hallucinating...does he?
Tommorow i will be receiving my Merit Award for the SSEF competition. Not a proud achievement, not even a mediorce one, in fact. Relative to our group's expectation, it sucks. Yet the award ceremony is an event tt i m looking fwd to, not because i can pon a few hours of school, but because i can reaped what i have sowed...something which i have toiled and worked hard for finally bear fruit.
Yet unfortunately, that was actually the last event from now which was actually part of me...something which i have pleasant memories of, something that will continue to live within me. I knew i carry a lot of chs memories with me...those were the days. Not that i didnt mug or what, not tt chs was an exceptionally good schl as it claimed to be, but it was the life. It was much simpler, much more lively and exuberant, much more fun than HC.
Not that i would have ever imagined me missing life in chs, esp when i was grumbling about it when i was there. About the stupid policies implemented by our corrupted principal, about stupid tests which was almost held daily. But then while we studied hard, we studied fun too. We crapped around...but it was a unique sort of it. We do fun things in the class together, legal or illegal. We heck about school rules. And in the end we scored well. We graduated.
I missed having close frenz around me so that i can confide in them. Here i felt left out. Like i never really ever belonged. Like no one will give a damn about how i felt. Here interactions, communications and relationships are superficial, like they existed for the sake of exisitance, like there isnt true, genuine sincerity at all.
I no longer want to comtemplate about whether i have made a right choice. qq has convinced me not to. Now i have to learn to live with it, despite the distinct differences, despite the fact that i have already given up. i have to learn to live with something which i have given up...
Wj asked me not to give up on the class. I find it impossible not to, cos this is already the fifth month. Yet nothing has happened, nothing is happening, and nothing will happen. I have given up trying to feel the class spirit, trying to be part of a class which is unqiue from any other.
Thinking about SSEF, there is perhaps a glimmer of hope. When i participated in SSEF, the few of them went down to support me...
But when u have given up on so many important things, giving up another is of no significance.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Life falling down
Homework
(Unchanged)
Why is SHE lidat one???
Everytime got problem lidat... really not happy with her lor... Very attuide one lor... I'm her BF leh... how can lidat one. She is very attuide in school lor. Beisong liao. Never think of how i feel. See her classmates all the time not sian. See me then sian. Why am i so good to her while she make me depress so many many times?? Life is damn unfair. She really love me? She almost never make me feel that way.
Don't like her to be this way.
(Unchanged)
Why is SHE lidat one???
Don't like her to be this way.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Life picking up
Homework
(Unchanged, like that's any surprise)
HPC QUEST NewsFlash
Physic Test
Physic sucks... Everyone says MCQ is easy but i feel its hard. A good sign that i'm going to die. Get same answer with quite a number of people for the Forces structured question. But get different answer with everyone for the Kinematics question. I'm so dead.
Today
Damn long day today. After physic very late already still go wif gf amk walk walk. Ate chicken rice while she watch. She cannot eat despite her stomach drumming very loudly because her mum got cook dinner liao. Then i feel damn bad lor... After i ate finish force her go eat a fried banana.. Else i really feel very bad.. How can a bf watch his gf starve? Cannot mah.. But really enjoyed her company... Donno what will happen if i lose her. Our increasing rate of arguement is worrying. I've since promise myself that i should be more open minded about certain stuffs.. I really treasure her, love her for what she had done for me, and what she had given me. I'll do whatever it take to make this last forever, preferably till the day i die.
Pictures taken today
Picture of gf's handphone she took using my handphone (we same model)
Boring Computing tutorial lesson
Things i drank/ate illegally in free access computer room today
A look of how fmaths lecture looks like from last row
Mr WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
(Unchanged, like that's any surprise)
HPC QUEST NewsFlash
hi all (^_^)
just a reminder that the HPC quest is next friday 29 Apr
pls be there punctually at 2:30pm
if u wish to go with me, i probably get a cab to go down together for us.
if u need excuse forms for your PD tutors, just let me know
thanks
hi all (^_^)
i will send out the excuse forms/email on next monday (25 Apr)
to all the teachers and u all as well;
(its a bit early to send now cos some might forget)
however u can notify them verbally today if u wish
this is an external competition and you are representing the college;
if u need help to convince your tutors to let u go, pls let me talk to them
i do expect 100% attendance.....
if u dont know how to go, pls meet me downstairs outside the general office
on next friday: 1:50pm
we will take a taxi there (however, i can only take another 3 students)
thanks
hi (^_^)
this is the excuse letter i already sent to all the teachers;
u can submit to them in hardcopy if u wish;
----------------------------------
Dear all,
Please excuse the following students on Friday, 29 April from 1:45pm onwards
as they will be representing the college in the
High Performance Computing Quest 2005 competition.
(Jointly organized by Institute of High Performance Computing and IBM)
Kanav Arora S02/04
Rahul Mehta S02/04
Vaibhav Goel S02/04
Wilson Foo S06/04
Tay Wei Kiat S02/05
Shankar Narayan S05/05
Sorry for any inconvenience caused.
for any queries, kindly approach me;
Thank You
Hong Lee Kiat
NOTICE: This communication is meant only for the addressee(s) named above and may contain information which is confidential and/or legally privileged. If you are not the named addressee(s), or the agent responsible for receiving and delivering this communication to the named addressee(s), this communication has been sent to you in error. If so, kindly contact us immediately for retrieval purposes. Unauthorised dissemination,distribution, copying or reliance on this communication is prohibited and may attract criminal penalties. Thank you
Physic Test
Physic sucks... Everyone says MCQ is easy but i feel its hard. A good sign that i'm going to die. Get same answer with quite a number of people for the Forces structured question. But get different answer with everyone for the Kinematics question. I'm so dead.
Today
Damn long day today. After physic very late already still go wif gf amk walk walk. Ate chicken rice while she watch. She cannot eat despite her stomach drumming very loudly because her mum got cook dinner liao. Then i feel damn bad lor... After i ate finish force her go eat a fried banana.. Else i really feel very bad.. How can a bf watch his gf starve? Cannot mah.. But really enjoyed her company... Donno what will happen if i lose her. Our increasing rate of arguement is worrying. I've since promise myself that i should be more open minded about certain stuffs.. I really treasure her, love her for what she had done for me, and what she had given me. I'll do whatever it take to make this last forever, preferably till the day i die.
Pictures taken today
Picture of gf's handphone she took using my handphone (we same model)
Boring Computing tutorial lesson
Things i drank/ate illegally in free access computer room today
A look of how fmaths lecture looks like from last row
Mr WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Super Sian Day
Homework
(Unchanged, despite promising myself that i'll ry to clear my homework.)
Today
Damn slack today, despite the fact that there is a phy common test tml. Just can't be bothered... Studied until chapter 4.5 only. Then sian liao so come online slack now. I noe will sure flunk but just heck lah..
New handphone
Yeah! Finally i have a camera phone! The quality of the photos are not bad for a handphone that is made by nokia and costed me only 138bucks. I now have 500 free sms too, which is damn cool. My handphone number is also very special, as it starts with the number "8" and not the conventional "9".
Love life
Missed my gf alot. Alot alot. Infinity * infinity!
Some pictures taken today
Too sleepy today... drank this to try to keep awake
This small cute winnie the pooh plastic drawer is the first gift my girlfriend gave me. Look how useful it is. I use it for keeping my MD player (Perfect fit), MDs and my personal seal (chinese name stamp) and an ink pad. Thanks her very much!!
My messy living room. Watching "Racing Stripes" on the computer.
(Unchanged, despite promising myself that i'll ry to clear my homework.)
Today
Damn slack today, despite the fact that there is a phy common test tml. Just can't be bothered... Studied until chapter 4.5 only. Then sian liao so come online slack now. I noe will sure flunk but just heck lah..
New handphone
Yeah! Finally i have a camera phone! The quality of the photos are not bad for a handphone that is made by nokia and costed me only 138bucks. I now have 500 free sms too, which is damn cool. My handphone number is also very special, as it starts with the number "8" and not the conventional "9".
Love life
Missed my gf alot. Alot alot. Infinity * infinity!
Some pictures taken today
Too sleepy today... drank this to try to keep awake
This small cute winnie the pooh plastic drawer is the first gift my girlfriend gave me. Look how useful it is. I use it for keeping my MD player (Perfect fit), MDs and my personal seal (chinese name stamp) and an ink pad. Thanks her very much!!
My messy living room. Watching "Racing Stripes" on the computer.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
A new phone!!
Today
A happy happy day. When out with her with the intention of doing hw but nth was done because the library is too full. So we went to chinatown walk walk. Very fun.
And boughta new HP. Nokia 7260. Happy beyond words. Discovered a dead pixel but don't want to return it. The dead pixel allows me to identify my phone from others'. :p
A happy happy day. When out with her with the intention of doing hw but nth was done because the library is too full. So we went to chinatown walk walk. Very fun.
And boughta new HP. Nokia 7260. Happy beyond words. Discovered a dead pixel but don't want to return it. The dead pixel allows me to identify my phone from others'. :p
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Truth Revealed
Homework:
(Unchanged)
The truth
Learnt the truth about me today. Saddening.. But should be able to get over it. Also, will try to improve myself. Won't say too much.
To Poh Wei, my dear buddy...
I share your sentiments. (lifting from your paragraphs)
With my character and personality...i know i will never fit into AJC. Seriously. Neither will i assimilate well into the top few JCs like RJ, VJ etc. This is because i m simply not a studious, consiencious student with a "i must mug like shit" kindda attitude. I wont do my tutorials if i dont feel like it. Like today...how i promised myself that i will start on my piling fmaths hw but i didnt. I wont feel bad or guilty if i m not mugging...like some ppl in our class will. Neither will the prospect of flunking tests worry me. I know. It's impossible to change the way i behave...cos i m myself. Its damn saddening when i everyone finish all those tutorials when i haven't even write my name and class on the question paper. Even in AJC, where many people feel that its a damn neighbourhoody place... my class totally consist of students from SAP schools.. And man, their ability to mug is amazing.
Think the reason why we get on so well is because of our similarity in our attuide towards things. Don't worry.. what you are suffering, i'm suffering too. I migh even hav more problems than you. Can make it lah.. one of these days go out wif you we tok tok..
(Unchanged)
The truth
Learnt the truth about me today. Saddening.. But should be able to get over it. Also, will try to improve myself. Won't say too much.
To Poh Wei, my dear buddy...
I share your sentiments. (lifting from your paragraphs)
With my character and personality...i know i will never fit into AJC. Seriously. Neither will i assimilate well into the top few JCs like RJ, VJ etc. This is because i m simply not a studious, consiencious student with a "i must mug like shit" kindda attitude. I wont do my tutorials if i dont feel like it. Like today...how i promised myself that i will start on my piling fmaths hw but i didnt. I wont feel bad or guilty if i m not mugging...like some ppl in our class will. Neither will the prospect of flunking tests worry me. I know. It's impossible to change the way i behave...cos i m myself. Its damn saddening when i everyone finish all those tutorials when i haven't even write my name and class on the question paper. Even in AJC, where many people feel that its a damn neighbourhoody place... my class totally consist of students from SAP schools.. And man, their ability to mug is amazing.
Think the reason why we get on so well is because of our similarity in our attuide towards things. Don't worry.. what you are suffering, i'm suffering too. I migh even hav more problems than you. Can make it lah.. one of these days go out wif you we tok tok..
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
I dont feel HC yet...
Life's so screwed in HC nowadays...even though i appear not to show it on the surface. Haiz...damn it. First i was late (not much of a problem). Then there are boring lectures and tutorials going on. Screwed. Well...then there is this econs essay test...which i tink tt i can do a lot better than i have performed...cos i couldnt fucking complete the paper...but then i speculate i will still score an okay mark for it, so i didnt make an issue out of it. But then the events seem pointless...they no longer matter...and i guess I have to sort out my thoughts now, in this post...
Today Lay Ning came back from SAJC to visit us. So did Huang Yu. Somehow they missed HC life very very much, that they are willing to spend their time to come back. To them, HC is still a desired school as compared to SAJC. They treasured their first three months that they have spent with us.
I know that I would be extremely disappointed if my 'O' Lvl results do not permit me to stay in HC. But for a slightly different reason. Not because I love HC and i wanted to stay badly, but because any result that exceeds the HC cut-off point is considered atrocious, something which i felt i did not deserve given the hard work which i put in for the 'O' Lvls.
But with the benefit of hindsight, flunking my O lvls and entering neighbourhood jcs like SAJC could probably be a blessing in disguise...as compared to me staying in HC. And if it is possible to switch position with Lay Ning i will genuinely consider the offer. Why so? A few aspects includes academic, intra-personal relations and CCAs.
Firstly, with my character and personality...i know i will never fit into HC. Seriously. Neither will i assimilate well into the top few JCs like RJ, VJ etc. This is because i m simply not a studious, consiencious student with a "i must mug like shit" kindda attitude. I wont do my tutorials if i dont feel like it. Like today...how i promised myself that i will start on my piling fmaths hw but i didnt. I wont feel bad or guilty if i m not mugging...like some ppl in our class will. Neither will the prospect of flunking tests worry me. I know. It's impossible to change the way i behave...cos i m myself. And i m not HC, becuase I cannot fit into HC because i work in a way unlike most HC students too...and as such i am having trouble integrating into the HC envt.
No matter what they say or as much as they would like to dispute it, i know i m the laggiest 1st intaker in my class currently in terms of doing tutorials, excluding PRCs like yiqun (i exclude him not because he is intelligent, as you will see my stand later, but because i dont interact with him often enough to comment). In fmaths, i havent any vectors tutorials at all, and i havent started on A9. Not tt it helps when a substantial number of tutorials are copied from other ppl, cos initially i thot we have to hand in tutorials. For physics, it's much worse because effectively i have only touched Units and Quantities, Vectors and Scalars, and four qns of Kinematics. (well...i m not so sure for this but perhaps rach may be laggier in this aspect...even though i doubt so). And econs...yes. There is only me and wj around for the 1st intakes. And ever since i copied the mcqs from him at around tutorials 3 or 4 i have never touched econs tutorials at home again. And i know wj occasionally scribble notes around his tutorials...hence he has looked thru them at home...no matter how little time he spends...
Even after establishing the fact that i m the laggiest in tutorials, which i never get to do so, ppl will start to sweep the fact away by saying things like "pohwei, u're smart" and "i m sure u can catch up if u want to, it's juz tt u dont want" and "i m not intelligent like you and that's why i have to work harder". Bascially these are comments which make me feel quite bad, for a few reasons which i could think of...
Firstly, when i comment on my tutorial state, i m merely trying to make people feel better because i m damn behind by my tutorials. I can sense tt many are very stressed by the never-ending tutorials, and the only way which i tink they can relieve stress is to stop doing for a period of time so that they can rejuvenate and start doing again. However, the reply that i m intelligent actually encourages them to continue in their mugging state, which is sad but true.
Secondly, i know that i m not intelligent, at least as compared to them. This is a controversial point and it seems like i m fighting a losing battle currently. However, i know this is true, being one of the rare 8-pointer around who struggled to get 4a1s for my O lvls. Yes, results do not reflect your intelligence but they speak volumes about your academic abilities, something which i do not possess. And yes...even if i m slightly more intelligent than them, which i doubt so, the time they spend in their tutorials as compared to mine is proportionally higher than my intellectual abilities relative to theirs. Moreover, it's apparant that intelligent people nid to do their tutorials too in order to do well for examinations. Either way...they are much better off as compared to me. Yet they do not seem to recognise it.
Thirdly, i sense that i have caused unhappiness in others because of the misconception that i m more intelligent. And because of this unhappiness i know i will never be able to speak to them heart-to-heart, in a truthful and friendly manner. Speaking from a position i feel, which may or may not be true, i felt that wj is irritated when he cant understand elasticity concepts in fmaths tutorials today, partially because i can understand them well. This seem to leave him in a position of being the lousier first intake in our small econs class, which is certainly untrue. On the contary, judging from the number of pages he wrote this time, and the relavance and quality of his points which he mentioned to me, which are closely linked to economic concepts, i feel that he will do a good, if not a better job than me for this essay. This just shows how unhappiness can be felt even though it is unnecessary.
In terms of PR, i feel tt the situation is also closely linked to mugging. In HC, ppl are so mugged that they have little time left to go out and have fun together. In fact, i cant find any ppl yet who will be willing to spend a lot of their time going out and have fun. When i entered JC i feel that it's more impt to have fun than to do well in studies. However, thinking back, i feel i m foolish to even think that my fellow Hwachongians will tink the same way. Here, almost every single person is aiming for two S-Papers, even though only a small minority will get them eventually. To them, results are all tt matter, even though it may lead to a fucked-up HC life, a screwed up social life...or even no fucking life. In fact, results can be directly linked to some of the tension that is caused in relationship with others.
Moreover, in after hanging out with them for so long, i feel that i cannot associate with any of my classmates yet. Yes, i can crap and joke around with them, but when it comes to expressing my feelings, i feel that no one is willing to hear, and no one will understand. As a result, i m stuck as being regarded as a crapper who has nothing better to do. Crapping is good for ice-breaking but when it comes to a proper friendship, crapping alone doesnt help. If i find a stranger in the public which can understand crap, by the second day i know him i will have probably be able to crap as much as i crapped with any person in this class. This merely shows how superficial my relationship is with others. Yes, i know a lot of ppl from HC but are they all for crapping?
Well...i still got a lot to write but after spending more than one hour writing the above nonsense i tink i better stop now...and sleep. Will blog the other parts which i failed to mention when i feel like it.
Today Lay Ning came back from SAJC to visit us. So did Huang Yu. Somehow they missed HC life very very much, that they are willing to spend their time to come back. To them, HC is still a desired school as compared to SAJC. They treasured their first three months that they have spent with us.
I know that I would be extremely disappointed if my 'O' Lvl results do not permit me to stay in HC. But for a slightly different reason. Not because I love HC and i wanted to stay badly, but because any result that exceeds the HC cut-off point is considered atrocious, something which i felt i did not deserve given the hard work which i put in for the 'O' Lvls.
But with the benefit of hindsight, flunking my O lvls and entering neighbourhood jcs like SAJC could probably be a blessing in disguise...as compared to me staying in HC. And if it is possible to switch position with Lay Ning i will genuinely consider the offer. Why so? A few aspects includes academic, intra-personal relations and CCAs.
Firstly, with my character and personality...i know i will never fit into HC. Seriously. Neither will i assimilate well into the top few JCs like RJ, VJ etc. This is because i m simply not a studious, consiencious student with a "i must mug like shit" kindda attitude. I wont do my tutorials if i dont feel like it. Like today...how i promised myself that i will start on my piling fmaths hw but i didnt. I wont feel bad or guilty if i m not mugging...like some ppl in our class will. Neither will the prospect of flunking tests worry me. I know. It's impossible to change the way i behave...cos i m myself. And i m not HC, becuase I cannot fit into HC because i work in a way unlike most HC students too...and as such i am having trouble integrating into the HC envt.
No matter what they say or as much as they would like to dispute it, i know i m the laggiest 1st intaker in my class currently in terms of doing tutorials, excluding PRCs like yiqun (i exclude him not because he is intelligent, as you will see my stand later, but because i dont interact with him often enough to comment). In fmaths, i havent any vectors tutorials at all, and i havent started on A9. Not tt it helps when a substantial number of tutorials are copied from other ppl, cos initially i thot we have to hand in tutorials. For physics, it's much worse because effectively i have only touched Units and Quantities, Vectors and Scalars, and four qns of Kinematics. (well...i m not so sure for this but perhaps rach may be laggier in this aspect...even though i doubt so). And econs...yes. There is only me and wj around for the 1st intakes. And ever since i copied the mcqs from him at around tutorials 3 or 4 i have never touched econs tutorials at home again. And i know wj occasionally scribble notes around his tutorials...hence he has looked thru them at home...no matter how little time he spends...
Even after establishing the fact that i m the laggiest in tutorials, which i never get to do so, ppl will start to sweep the fact away by saying things like "pohwei, u're smart" and "i m sure u can catch up if u want to, it's juz tt u dont want" and "i m not intelligent like you and that's why i have to work harder". Bascially these are comments which make me feel quite bad, for a few reasons which i could think of...
Firstly, when i comment on my tutorial state, i m merely trying to make people feel better because i m damn behind by my tutorials. I can sense tt many are very stressed by the never-ending tutorials, and the only way which i tink they can relieve stress is to stop doing for a period of time so that they can rejuvenate and start doing again. However, the reply that i m intelligent actually encourages them to continue in their mugging state, which is sad but true.
Secondly, i know that i m not intelligent, at least as compared to them. This is a controversial point and it seems like i m fighting a losing battle currently. However, i know this is true, being one of the rare 8-pointer around who struggled to get 4a1s for my O lvls. Yes, results do not reflect your intelligence but they speak volumes about your academic abilities, something which i do not possess. And yes...even if i m slightly more intelligent than them, which i doubt so, the time they spend in their tutorials as compared to mine is proportionally higher than my intellectual abilities relative to theirs. Moreover, it's apparant that intelligent people nid to do their tutorials too in order to do well for examinations. Either way...they are much better off as compared to me. Yet they do not seem to recognise it.
Thirdly, i sense that i have caused unhappiness in others because of the misconception that i m more intelligent. And because of this unhappiness i know i will never be able to speak to them heart-to-heart, in a truthful and friendly manner. Speaking from a position i feel, which may or may not be true, i felt that wj is irritated when he cant understand elasticity concepts in fmaths tutorials today, partially because i can understand them well. This seem to leave him in a position of being the lousier first intake in our small econs class, which is certainly untrue. On the contary, judging from the number of pages he wrote this time, and the relavance and quality of his points which he mentioned to me, which are closely linked to economic concepts, i feel that he will do a good, if not a better job than me for this essay. This just shows how unhappiness can be felt even though it is unnecessary.
In terms of PR, i feel tt the situation is also closely linked to mugging. In HC, ppl are so mugged that they have little time left to go out and have fun together. In fact, i cant find any ppl yet who will be willing to spend a lot of their time going out and have fun. When i entered JC i feel that it's more impt to have fun than to do well in studies. However, thinking back, i feel i m foolish to even think that my fellow Hwachongians will tink the same way. Here, almost every single person is aiming for two S-Papers, even though only a small minority will get them eventually. To them, results are all tt matter, even though it may lead to a fucked-up HC life, a screwed up social life...or even no fucking life. In fact, results can be directly linked to some of the tension that is caused in relationship with others.
Moreover, in after hanging out with them for so long, i feel that i cannot associate with any of my classmates yet. Yes, i can crap and joke around with them, but when it comes to expressing my feelings, i feel that no one is willing to hear, and no one will understand. As a result, i m stuck as being regarded as a crapper who has nothing better to do. Crapping is good for ice-breaking but when it comes to a proper friendship, crapping alone doesnt help. If i find a stranger in the public which can understand crap, by the second day i know him i will have probably be able to crap as much as i crapped with any person in this class. This merely shows how superficial my relationship is with others. Yes, i know a lot of ppl from HC but are they all for crapping?
Well...i still got a lot to write but after spending more than one hour writing the above nonsense i tink i better stop now...and sleep. Will blog the other parts which i failed to mention when i feel like it.
An ok day with a BIG unhappiness
Homework:
-Fmaths Curve Stretching
-Fmaths Inverse Trigo Function
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-Fmaths APGP tutorial
-GP eassy
The Unhappiness
Seems that everyone has the opinion of Jun Jie that he is a proud but smart boy. Is it so simple? He think's he's smart, but i highly doubt so. Even Shaun is smarter than him. At least Shaun knows how to do his own homework. At least Shaun knows how to use his brain and do things himself. Jun Jie is totally hopeless no-brainer.
During Cxtreme today, we have to decide on a project we have to do for the rest of a year. Since we are in web group, of course doing website. We decided to create a new Cxtreme website, called Cxtreme MakeOver. Fuckingly, Jun jie's group have exactly the same project title. Jun jie obviously has been secretly listening to our discussions. He's the only one in his group who's within earshot. Fuck that useless no-brainer fucker. If there's one thing I hate about people, it is copying of Ideas. That loser don't even know how to change our project title even a little bit. He copied it whole. Either he's trying to challenge my group's abilities or he totally has a empty brain. Such a jerk. Hope some happily drunk driver can come and crash right into him.
If i want to win him, i have a difficult time ahead of me. Si hui's web developement skill is quite basic, so is the skill of the other guy in my team. I'm the leader(obviously). Now i'll have to train them to improve their skills.
Currently we each have to come up with individual website with content about Cxtreme stuffs. I intend to use the existing layout of my blog. He saw my layout again. If i see that he use something similar, I'm going to screw that guy real bad when i become the president.
If i become the president(high chance, cos alot of support), I'll try ways and means to kick that arrogant fool out. I also hope that he can quicky join NS, as his behavior will only make people want to bash him to death. I'll read the news everyday when i'm in NS, and see if my wish comes true.
Really lor.. such a screw-ed up son of the bitch. Me 2 years in EC3 (Computer club of the chinese high school) have already seen various arrogant people who enjoys koping ideas like nobody's business. I've seen each of them receive their punishment. Now its his turn. He's worst than any kind i've seen before. He's simply a walking bastard waiting to be put out of mortal realm.
Happiness? Today!
ENOUGH about unhappiness. I noe everyone has a fair share of them these few days. Today my gf very good to me again(is that a surprise?) So i very happy again. Just that some ammonia filled airbag head bastard has to spoild my day. Nvm, sooner or later i'll get rid of him. I seldom hate someone so much. But now i do. And i never forget. JC life has really brought new heights to stress and methods of releasing stress.
I want to be Cxtreme President
Already have around 9 votes or more on this issue. Even the current president is in favour of me being the next Cxtreme President. Only the VP who has some misunderstanding with me seems bei shong with me. But nvm, he's quite useless actually. Of course, I've promised myself and my fellow supporters what i'll do if i become the president. Here is a sneak peek:
-Screw Jun Jie up and fuck him away so that he's cca-less (better still, let him stay and assign him as a useless member.)
-Re-organise the club so that there is more cooperation between every divisons. Since i noe someone from each division well, this should be easy.
-Allow gaming for project teams that did particularly well. (This will not only motivate them, but also allow us to relieve stress. It's impossible to allow gaming for everyone everytime becos of the teacher-in-charge and the fierce techie. Sorie guys..)
-Assign Xiang Yun as creative director, si hui as secretary
-Assign my fellow supporters as ex-co (especially those from TCHS =D)
-Provide more CIP opportunity to everyone except Jun Jie(if he haven't got knock down by any vehicle yet)
Robert!
Hm.. eversince i have a girlfriend and somehow alot of childish and immatured KPOs spread it around like bushfire... I've been hearing people shouting "robert" to each other whenever I'm around. How right am i to give myself a fake name in AJC. Otherwise, they will be shouting my real name.
In the reading rooms today, using my lappy with si hui and enjoying peace and quiet, a gang of neigbourhoody immatured and mentally under developed ajcians entered the room. The moment they saw me, the name "robert" start coming out of their mouth like monks chanting. I don't even know them lor!! Really damn childish lor... Didn't they know I come from TCHS, one of the top school in Singapore. Didn't they noe that one of the grp of people we depised most are neigbourhoody people. No, i don't depise everyone from neigbourhood school. Infact, my gf comes from a school i never heard of before meeting her. I only depise those who come from neigbourhood schools and behave like a bunch of overgrown kids who have no volume control over their speech and behave like a bunch of monkeys that spotted a banana. Damn fucking irritating lor. Feel taking the chair and throwing at them. That's the best way to shut those jerks up. Damn loser lor.. those people.. making a fool of themselves without even knowing it. Look down on them. But still, Jun Jie is the worst of the worst.
Hm... seems like i kept being beisong-ed by people around me these few days. But serious lor... They all seems to have problems with their brain. Maybe their genes got problem and their large intestine grow there instead. If people around me can behave like people, then life will be better for everyone.
Have rough idea who's the KPO who spread it around in the first place, since he's the only one who know me as "robert" and not by my real name. Some guy from XMS who's running for councillor. Please lor.. this kind of KPO GUY can become councillor? Then AJC finish liao.. 4 years in TCHS, a guy school Never came across a KPO GUY before. Female then go sex change is it?
That's all folks!
-Fmaths Curve Stretching
-Fmaths Inverse Trigo Function
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-Fmaths APGP tutorial
-GP eassy
The Unhappiness
Seems that everyone has the opinion of Jun Jie that he is a proud but smart boy. Is it so simple? He think's he's smart, but i highly doubt so. Even Shaun is smarter than him. At least Shaun knows how to do his own homework. At least Shaun knows how to use his brain and do things himself. Jun Jie is totally hopeless no-brainer.
During Cxtreme today, we have to decide on a project we have to do for the rest of a year. Since we are in web group, of course doing website. We decided to create a new Cxtreme website, called Cxtreme MakeOver. Fuckingly, Jun jie's group have exactly the same project title. Jun jie obviously has been secretly listening to our discussions. He's the only one in his group who's within earshot. Fuck that useless no-brainer fucker. If there's one thing I hate about people, it is copying of Ideas. That loser don't even know how to change our project title even a little bit. He copied it whole. Either he's trying to challenge my group's abilities or he totally has a empty brain. Such a jerk. Hope some happily drunk driver can come and crash right into him.
If i want to win him, i have a difficult time ahead of me. Si hui's web developement skill is quite basic, so is the skill of the other guy in my team. I'm the leader(obviously). Now i'll have to train them to improve their skills.
Currently we each have to come up with individual website with content about Cxtreme stuffs. I intend to use the existing layout of my blog. He saw my layout again. If i see that he use something similar, I'm going to screw that guy real bad when i become the president.
If i become the president(high chance, cos alot of support), I'll try ways and means to kick that arrogant fool out. I also hope that he can quicky join NS, as his behavior will only make people want to bash him to death. I'll read the news everyday when i'm in NS, and see if my wish comes true.
Really lor.. such a screw-ed up son of the bitch. Me 2 years in EC3 (Computer club of the chinese high school) have already seen various arrogant people who enjoys koping ideas like nobody's business. I've seen each of them receive their punishment. Now its his turn. He's worst than any kind i've seen before. He's simply a walking bastard waiting to be put out of mortal realm.
Happiness? Today!
ENOUGH about unhappiness. I noe everyone has a fair share of them these few days. Today my gf very good to me again(is that a surprise?) So i very happy again. Just that some ammonia filled airbag head bastard has to spoild my day. Nvm, sooner or later i'll get rid of him. I seldom hate someone so much. But now i do. And i never forget. JC life has really brought new heights to stress and methods of releasing stress.
I want to be Cxtreme President
Already have around 9 votes or more on this issue. Even the current president is in favour of me being the next Cxtreme President. Only the VP who has some misunderstanding with me seems bei shong with me. But nvm, he's quite useless actually. Of course, I've promised myself and my fellow supporters what i'll do if i become the president. Here is a sneak peek:
-Screw Jun Jie up and fuck him away so that he's cca-less (better still, let him stay and assign him as a useless member.)
-Re-organise the club so that there is more cooperation between every divisons. Since i noe someone from each division well, this should be easy.
-Allow gaming for project teams that did particularly well. (This will not only motivate them, but also allow us to relieve stress. It's impossible to allow gaming for everyone everytime becos of the teacher-in-charge and the fierce techie. Sorie guys..)
-Assign Xiang Yun as creative director, si hui as secretary
-Assign my fellow supporters as ex-co (especially those from TCHS =D)
-Provide more CIP opportunity to everyone except Jun Jie(if he haven't got knock down by any vehicle yet)
Robert!
Hm.. eversince i have a girlfriend and somehow alot of childish and immatured KPOs spread it around like bushfire... I've been hearing people shouting "robert" to each other whenever I'm around. How right am i to give myself a fake name in AJC. Otherwise, they will be shouting my real name.
In the reading rooms today, using my lappy with si hui and enjoying peace and quiet, a gang of neigbourhoody immatured and mentally under developed ajcians entered the room. The moment they saw me, the name "robert" start coming out of their mouth like monks chanting. I don't even know them lor!! Really damn childish lor... Didn't they know I come from TCHS, one of the top school in Singapore. Didn't they noe that one of the grp of people we depised most are neigbourhoody people. No, i don't depise everyone from neigbourhood school. Infact, my gf comes from a school i never heard of before meeting her. I only depise those who come from neigbourhood schools and behave like a bunch of overgrown kids who have no volume control over their speech and behave like a bunch of monkeys that spotted a banana. Damn fucking irritating lor. Feel taking the chair and throwing at them. That's the best way to shut those jerks up. Damn loser lor.. those people.. making a fool of themselves without even knowing it. Look down on them. But still, Jun Jie is the worst of the worst.
Hm... seems like i kept being beisong-ed by people around me these few days. But serious lor... They all seems to have problems with their brain. Maybe their genes got problem and their large intestine grow there instead. If people around me can behave like people, then life will be better for everyone.
Have rough idea who's the KPO who spread it around in the first place, since he's the only one who know me as "robert" and not by my real name. Some guy from XMS who's running for councillor. Please lor.. this kind of KPO GUY can become councillor? Then AJC finish liao.. 4 years in TCHS, a guy school Never came across a KPO GUY before. Female then go sex change is it?
That's all folks!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Poem (Finally!)
Journey to the magical heart
In the midst of fostering everlasting love,
disruptions arises to threaten that bond.
But heaven wept and washed away our tears,
the almighty power of healing closed our wounds.
tears of heaven, a spiritual glue,
got us stuck onto each other.
The magical touch of her heart,
brightens up the evening sky,
while lust retreats,
presenting eternal true and unwavering love.
In the midst of fostering everlasting love,
disruptions arises to threaten that bond.
But heaven wept and washed away our tears,
the almighty power of healing closed our wounds.
tears of heaven, a spiritual glue,
got us stuck onto each other.
The magical touch of her heart,
brightens up the evening sky,
while lust retreats,
presenting eternal true and unwavering love.
A MISERABLE Day
Homework:
(Unchanged)
Fucking-ity Factor:Overload Manageable
FUCK lor today, damn pissed and unhappy with everything around me. Misplaced my fuckingly exp earphone that costs me a fucking 80bucks lor. Fuck lor, its quite new and i now have to get a new one, by fuck or by rape. Fuck man! Really damn pissed. Only acquired the earphone recently. Now using my sis's earphone i bought for her. It really insults my ear... Damn bad sound quality. Can't its already supposely a 45bucks clip-on from sony. But its sound sucks like shit. I want my earphone back!!!!
Then today kicked my THERE by accident. Won't say who. But i relieved my tension and anger by giving him 3 ultra hard bone cruching punch on the back and one punch on his arm. Felt much better. But could have beat him up more. Too fucked up. But cannot hit him too much. He's my friend leh.. Sorie ah.
Then yesterday my gf treat me very good.But today she changed. Broken 2 of the major promises she made to me. Made me damn pissed with her. I know of the saying "Promises are meant to be broken" but i do not want it at my doorstep. I've never broken an promises i made to even my classmates, and I don't see how she can break promise made to her BF. Really too much. Fuck it. Lets see if she can make me feel less fucky today. Later chat with her on msn. But if got phone i'll yell.. I noe saying her until lidat she will not be happy... but really lor... Make be beishong SO MANY times. How can i pretend not to notice? I already didn't notice many times. When i first know her, she so kind and gentle. Now she's very attuide today.
Talk it out wif her. feeling better now.
AND FUCK LOR!!! More and more homework all undone becos i want to pei her tok to her on msn. Crap lah... don't care liao... I hate homework more than her attuide... so i'll have to bear with her attuide. For now.
Wrote quite a nice poem on mrt on the way to school today. But fuck lah... Don't feel like posting it here right now. Maybe next time? See how lor...
Overall damn pissed with life today. Feel like going for a long long deep sleep and smash i head against the wall so that i can go gong-gong and not feel any more stress. FUCK it. All the gong-gongs in the world are happier than me. Fuck lor.
HATE today. Can't wait for it to be fuckingly over.
Fuck Forever,
Tay WICKED
(Unchanged)
Fucking-ity Factor:
FUCK lor today, damn pissed and unhappy with everything around me. Misplaced my fuckingly exp earphone that costs me a fucking 80bucks lor. Fuck lor, its quite new and i now have to get a new one, by fuck or by rape. Fuck man! Really damn pissed. Only acquired the earphone recently. Now using my sis's earphone i bought for her. It really insults my ear... Damn bad sound quality. Can't its already supposely a 45bucks clip-on from sony. But its sound sucks like shit. I want my earphone back!!!!
Then today kicked my THERE by accident. Won't say who. But i relieved my tension and anger by giving him 3 ultra hard bone cruching punch on the back and one punch on his arm. Felt much better. But could have beat him up more. Too fucked up. But cannot hit him too much. He's my friend leh.. Sorie ah.
Then yesterday my gf treat me very good.
Talk it out wif her. feeling better now.
AND FUCK LOR!!! More and more homework all undone becos i want to pei her tok to her on msn. Crap lah... don't care liao... I hate homework more than her attuide... so i'll have to bear with her attuide. For now.
Wrote quite a nice poem on mrt on the way to school today. But fuck lah... Don't feel like posting it here right now. Maybe next time? See how lor...
Overall damn pissed with life today. Feel like going for a long long deep sleep and smash i head against the wall so that i can go gong-gong and not feel any more stress. FUCK it. All the gong-gongs in the world are happier than me. Fuck lor.
HATE today. Can't wait for it to be fuckingly over.
Fuck Forever,
Tay WICKED
Monday, April 18, 2005
A happy happy day!
Homework:
-Curve Stretching
-Inverse Trigo Function(Lost my tutorial)
-Computing Calender Display
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-GP Article
-PW PI
-Tok to my gf on the phone (again)
-Tok to my gf on the phone (second round scheduled at 9.30pm)
Today in class
Today class quite interesting lah... because rui xiang not in school today, so no one to disturb me in my daydreaming. Haha... and its quite obvious what kaiyang will do today. Haha.. During PW our group most enthu. Other groups are too slack or too serious. Teacher even praised us indirectly. Muhahaha... feel so happy today... got along well wif my group members. They are also quite understanding that i may be quite busy to do PW during MAY. They are really wonderful!!!!
Today after school
Walked with HER to AMK Park and loiter around after school today. Damn fun leh... Enjoy her company very much. She made me ultra happy today. So good to me lor. Made me felt like i owed her something. Haha.. She really made me very very happy happy happy today. So wonderful. Still can't believe she let me do what she let me do today! Hahaz... Won't elaborate on what it is. But its nth dirty, so readers, please don't get too excited.
Pictures of James and KaiYang of 0205
James looking weird.
James eating.
James showing off his food.
James eating again.
KAIYANG! Seems like some particular girl say something to him and make him damn happy, i think.
-Curve Stretching
-Inverse Trigo Function
-
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-
-
-
-
Today in class
Today class quite interesting lah... because rui xiang not in school today, so no one to disturb me in my daydreaming. Haha... and its quite obvious what kaiyang will do today. Haha.. During PW our group most enthu. Other groups are too slack or too serious. Teacher even praised us indirectly. Muhahaha... feel so happy today... got along well wif my group members. They are also quite understanding that i may be quite busy to do PW during MAY. They are really wonderful!!!!
Today after school
Walked with HER to AMK Park and loiter around after school today. Damn fun leh... Enjoy her company very much. She made me ultra happy today. So good to me lor. Made me felt like i owed her something. Haha.. She really made me very very happy happy happy today. So wonderful. Still can't believe she let me do what she let me do today! Hahaz... Won't elaborate on what it is. But its nth dirty, so readers, please don't get too excited.
Pictures of James and KaiYang of 0205
James looking weird.
James eating.
James showing off his food.
James eating again.
KAIYANG! Seems like some particular girl say something to him and make him damn happy, i think.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Comp crashed!
Homework
-Curve Stretching
-Inverse Trigo Function (Lost my tutorial)
-Computing Calender Display
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-GP Article
-PW PI
-Tok to my gf on the phone (again)
-Tok to my gf on the phone (second round scheduled at 9.30pm)
Comp crashed
Was typing an ultra long entry just now when my comp crashed unexpectedly. Tried the recover post feature but it didn't work. So forget it le lah. Don't care liao. Basically, wrote that the reason i post homework i have to do here is for me to keep track of my undone homework as my brain does not hav so much capacity to store so much information on the homeworks i have to do and also i never use an organiser to record everything.. But really lor, my new Acer 3202 never crashed before. Its only like 3 months old. What the hell happened? Hope that it won't make a habit out of it.
Ok.. 9.30 now. Time for the phone call with my beloved.
-Curve Stretching
-Inverse Trigo Function (Lost my tutorial)
-
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-
-
-
-Tok to my gf on the phone (second round scheduled at 9.30pm)
Comp crashed
Was typing an ultra long entry just now when my comp crashed unexpectedly. Tried the recover post feature but it didn't work. So forget it le lah. Don't care liao. Basically, wrote that the reason i post homework i have to do here is for me to keep track of my undone homework as my brain does not hav so much capacity to store so much information on the homeworks i have to do and also i never use an organiser to record everything.. But really lor, my new Acer 3202 never crashed before. Its only like 3 months old. What the hell happened? Hope that it won't make a habit out of it.
Ok.. 9.30 now. Time for the phone call with my beloved.
Weekend Homework
List of homework undone:
-Curve Stretching
-Inverse Trigo Function (Lost my tutorial)
-Computing Calender Display
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-GP Article
-PW PI
-Tok to my gf on the phone (again)
Yesterday Night
Tok on the phone wif my gf from 9 to 12. A some unhappiness occured somewhere at 10++ which is mainly due to the side effect of the cancer on friday. Anyway, i think its over now. I'm simply too possessive of my gf(having come from a guys' sch) i really can't help it. But nvm lah.. Th cancer should be over liao. After that comes happiness like never before. Enjoyed toking with her so much i didn't want to hang up the phone.
To YY: although u guys r in dif sch, chatting on the phone is really enjoyable. All the best to YY and PW.
Today Morning
Didn't do any hw. Went to cut hair cos hair too long. End up hair too short. Don't care liao. The the hair cutter try to con me tell me cost 12bucks. Then i claim i only brought 10bucks wif me cos even shopping centre the hair cut shop 10min 10bucks didn't expect they so exp. So they accepted my 10bucks. Then i acted like i very grateful to them. But crap lor.. My acting too good. They smiled at me. Muahahhaha feeling very evil. Too stressed.
-Curve Stretching
-Inverse Trigo Function (Lost my tutorial)
-Computing Calender Display
-Computing Practical Matrix Mutiplication
-Computing System Analyse Worksheet
-GP Article
-PW PI
-Tok to my gf on the phone (again)
Yesterday Night
Tok on the phone wif my gf from 9 to 12. A some unhappiness occured somewhere at 10++ which is mainly due to the side effect of the cancer on friday. Anyway, i think its over now. I'm simply too possessive of my gf(having come from a guys' sch) i really can't help it. But nvm lah.. Th cancer should be over liao. After that comes happiness like never before. Enjoyed toking with her so much i didn't want to hang up the phone.
To YY: although u guys r in dif sch, chatting on the phone is really enjoyable. All the best to YY and PW.
Today Morning
Didn't do any hw. Went to cut hair cos hair too long. End up hair too short. Don't care liao. The the hair cutter try to con me tell me cost 12bucks. Then i claim i only brought 10bucks wif me cos even shopping centre the hair cut shop 10min 10bucks didn't expect they so exp. So they accepted my 10bucks. Then i acted like i very grateful to them. But crap lor.. My acting too good. They smiled at me. Muahahhaha feeling very evil. Too stressed.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
TheComputer@Inoru Version 2.0 is ready!
Site upgrade
Hi there regular visitors of this blog, you may have noticed some changes slowly manifesting itself through various sections of this site these few weeks. This is because the webmaster (that's me, who else?) is slowly upgrading this site to version 2.0. Below is a complete list of changes that were made to this site.
Changes:
-New non-flash version of this site which contains much larger view area and lesser strain on your internet brandwidth.
-All new links page.
-Made this site fully compatible with all major browsers, including Opera, Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox.
-New title bar at the top of each page
-Added more images so that website don't look so plain
-and many more...
Unchanged:
-Unquestionable ease of site navigation
-The X-faction
-Still as user-friendly as before
-Easy to view all contents (unlike other blogs where the owner are obviously colour-blinded or trying to make their visitors blind with super lousy colour scheme. Some owners have such a weird taste that their blog only occupies about less than 40% of the entire view area and sports ultra small font.)
-Originality (unlike 99% of blogs you see, this site is 100% the work of its owner, except maybe with the exception of the ipod-like border graphics.)
Yesterday
Interesting day. Some unhappiness with girlfriend. But the unhappiness contracted cancer and died. So no more unhappiness. The cancer left the health of our love stronger than ever. I must thank the rain that occured yesterday at around 1.30pm. Thanks god. Thanks heaven. Without that rain, I think its all over now. This experience teaches me to act more reasonably and listen to my gf about what she has to say before becoming angry. I must learn to control myself.
Today
Damn sian leh.. only did physic and 3d trigo homework so far. Still have APGP, Curve stretching, programming, GP article, PW's PI left to do.
Sian. Other than NS, what period of time can be more suck than JC life?
Hi there regular visitors of this blog, you may have noticed some changes slowly manifesting itself through various sections of this site these few weeks. This is because the webmaster (that's me, who else?) is slowly upgrading this site to version 2.0. Below is a complete list of changes that were made to this site.
Changes:
-New non-flash version of this site which contains much larger view area and lesser strain on your internet brandwidth.
-All new links page.
-Made this site fully compatible with all major browsers, including Opera, Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox.
-New title bar at the top of each page
-Added more images so that website don't look so plain
-and many more...
Unchanged:
-Unquestionable ease of site navigation
-The X-faction
-Still as user-friendly as before
-Easy to view all contents (unlike other blogs where the owner are obviously colour-blinded or trying to make their visitors blind with super lousy colour scheme. Some owners have such a weird taste that their blog only occupies about less than 40% of the entire view area and sports ultra small font.)
-Originality (unlike 99% of blogs you see, this site is 100% the work of its owner, except maybe with the exception of the ipod-like border graphics.)
Yesterday
Interesting day. Some unhappiness with girlfriend. But the unhappiness contracted cancer and died. So no more unhappiness. The cancer left the health of our love stronger than ever. I must thank the rain that occured yesterday at around 1.30pm. Thanks god. Thanks heaven. Without that rain, I think its all over now. This experience teaches me to act more reasonably and listen to my gf about what she has to say before becoming angry. I must learn to control myself.
Today
Damn sian leh.. only did physic and 3d trigo homework so far. Still have APGP, Curve stretching, programming, GP article, PW's PI left to do.
Sian. Other than NS, what period of time can be more suck than JC life?
Thursday, April 14, 2005
HPC and More
Yesterday went to BBQ with dear buddies Yan Yuan and Poh Wei. Showed them my gf and showed my gf TCHS buildings. Then my gf went home. She's very good lor... pei me all the way to TCHS there for me to wait for my friends before going for BBQ.
Yan Yuan's father booked a mini-chalet and he provided free shuttle service there using his privately owned motor car.
Turns out Yan Yuan's dad noe my PDG Tutor, Mr Ang, personally. How interesting.
We BBQ-ed and ate both over and under-cooked food for one hour, before deciding we had enough of the delicious food. We went for a walk at the pasir ris park and tried to go missing. We almost succeed. While trying to find our way away from the chalet, all of us shared with each other our BGR experience.
Me, being the trend setter, already has a girlfriend. Yan Yuan has a very good female friend. He dare not procceed as he is unsure of his parent's reaction should be decide to suddenly announce that after 4 years of being a monk, he has finally found someone of the opposite gender. Strangely, their favourite pastime includes bumping into each other literally on their way home from school. The sad thing is that they are now in different jcs... Yan Yuan in RJC while the gal in NJC. Feel abit sad for them. I can't even take the agony of being in different class as my gf.
Below are some pictures we took:
From left to right: Yan Yuan, Me, Poh Wei
Guess who is who yourself
Today
Today after school went walk walk aroud AMK central wif my gf.. Love her so much. Hate tutorials so much. Of course spend time lidat. Reach home quite late today cos waited her to board bus before i leave. Then i take mrt from amk to ckk then lrt from cck to fajar. 1 hour gone. Reach home late. Don't care. I llike to wait for bus with her at bus stop.
HPC QUEST COMPETITION
Taking part in this year's HPC Quest Compeition.
Its more chim then u think. It involves using of a cluster of Linux computers(4 interconnected computers for parallel processing) Sounds exciting but i know nothing about how to do the programming, yet.
But the whole motion of taking part in an IT-related competition is new to me and the prizes are seriously attractive, although i doubt i can get them. Anyway.. to show off, here are 2 emails i received from someone called Irene who seems to be the only one in the HPC Quest Organisation Team who noes how to use emails.
Looks like i can pon Mass Civics or even more lessons on 29 april... Hehehe..
Ok, back to the harsh realities of taking part in this compeition. It is definitely a challenge, despite my background in programming as i've never done parallel processing before. Worst is the distribution of Linux they are using. Its a hell to use and i've never even use linux before. The way this compeition is carried out is something like the PW which everyone hates so much. So if you think that you are dying from PW, please think of your dear beloved faithful blogger Mr Tay Wei Kiat here. I need your sympathy. Serious. Haha.
Ok, i think that's about it. Please remember to tag on my tagboard. Its so inactive its dying from boredom.
Yan Yuan's father booked a mini-chalet and he provided free shuttle service there using his privately owned motor car.
Turns out Yan Yuan's dad noe my PDG Tutor, Mr Ang, personally. How interesting.
We BBQ-ed and ate both over and under-cooked food for one hour, before deciding we had enough of the delicious food. We went for a walk at the pasir ris park and tried to go missing. We almost succeed. While trying to find our way away from the chalet, all of us shared with each other our BGR experience.
Me, being the trend setter, already has a girlfriend. Yan Yuan has a very good female friend. He dare not procceed as he is unsure of his parent's reaction should be decide to suddenly announce that after 4 years of being a monk, he has finally found someone of the opposite gender. Strangely, their favourite pastime includes bumping into each other literally on their way home from school. The sad thing is that they are now in different jcs... Yan Yuan in RJC while the gal in NJC. Feel abit sad for them. I can't even take the agony of being in different class as my gf.
Below are some pictures we took:
From left to right: Yan Yuan, Me, Poh Wei
Guess who is who yourself
Today
Today after school went walk walk aroud AMK central wif my gf.. Love her so much. Hate tutorials so much. Of course spend time lidat. Reach home quite late today cos waited her to board bus before i leave. Then i take mrt from amk to ckk then lrt from cck to fajar. 1 hour gone. Reach home late. Don't care. I llike to wait for bus with her at bus stop.
HPC QUEST COMPETITION
Taking part in this year's HPC Quest Compeition.
HPC Quest 2005 - Student Category is jointly organised by Institute of High Performance Computing (IHPC) and IBM. The competition aims to encourage the use of high-performance computing to further R&D activities in Singapore. These activities should demonstrate potential benefits to the industry and help increase Singapore’s standing in the international R&D community.
Join HPC Quest now by submitting a project which demonstrates the effective use of high-performance computing technologies.
Its more chim then u think. It involves using of a cluster of Linux computers(4 interconnected computers for parallel processing) Sounds exciting but i know nothing about how to do the programming, yet.
But the whole motion of taking part in an IT-related competition is new to me and the prizes are seriously attractive, although i doubt i can get them. Anyway.. to show off, here are 2 emails i received from someone called Irene who seems to be the only one in the HPC Quest Organisation Team who noes how to use emails.
URGENT
-------------
Please be informed that the competition will start immediately after a briefing. Therefore, you are invited to a COMPULSORY briefing on Friday, 29 April at 3pm at the Auditorium, Institute of High Performance Computing, 1 Science Park Road, #01-01 The Capricorn, Singapore Science Park II, Singapore 117528 (Tel: 6419 1111).
The competition rules and method will be distributed and explained on this date and therefore, it is important that all student participants attend this briefing.
The date for presentation and judging is on Friday, 3 June and the awards ceremony is tentatively fixed on Saturday, 11 June.
Please confirm your attendance on 29 April through email.
Regards
Irene
Secretariat
Dear Mr Hong and students
Our tentative agenda for HPC Quest Students Briefing on Fri, 29 April is as follows:
2.30pm Arrival of teachers and students
3.00pm Opening speech by HPC Quest Chair, Jerry Lim
3.05pm Competition Briefing by Benjamin Khoo
3.45pm Light refreshments
4.15pm Competition briefing resumes
5.00pm End of programme
Should you require any assistance, please contact me at Tel: 6338 2321. Thank you and we look forward to seeing you.
Regards
Irene
Looks like i can pon Mass Civics or even more lessons on 29 april... Hehehe..
Ok, back to the harsh realities of taking part in this compeition. It is definitely a challenge, despite my background in programming as i've never done parallel processing before. Worst is the distribution of Linux they are using. Its a hell to use and i've never even use linux before. The way this compeition is carried out is something like the PW which everyone hates so much. So if you think that you are dying from PW, please think of your dear beloved faithful blogger Mr Tay Wei Kiat here. I need your sympathy. Serious. Haha.
Ok, i think that's about it. Please remember to tag on my tagboard. Its so inactive its dying from boredom.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Cant help but to agree...
Yeahz...life sucks...HC sucks...too bad...damn...
I m not always liddat too...juz dont noe wat's wrong with me today...
I m not always liddat too...juz dont noe wat's wrong with me today...
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Sian Lehz
Life is so sian these few days... FUCK JCs. FUCK MOE.
No i'm not always lidat..
No i'm not always lidat..
Monday, April 11, 2005
Such a stupid day
Woke up to discover my face covered with big ugly pimples. FUCK LOR... I don't want them, why they keep coming back to me? I wash my face regularly like everyone else... Why do i have to suffer this miserable fate? And its damn painful lor. FUCK lah... Hate my face.
And today damn sian lor... Tml got Time Practise for Phy. So i have to go pia now. Missed my dear like siao. Haiz.. Terrible life. Really doubt any god exists. The world is SO freaking unfair. In a bad mood. But looking forward to toking to my gf on the phone later.. Hee... Today feel like listening to all my techno and link park albums to relieve stress.
A short low class poem to express my feelings today. This is not my regular poetry standard.
The first ray of light from doom,
starts off the terrible day,
and shines right into my room,
right onto the eyes of Weikiat Tay.
Fuck that fucking mounteverest of homework,
Fuck that stupid school adminstration.
Why do i have to do so much work?
And die from my desperation.
And today damn sian lor... Tml got Time Practise for Phy. So i have to go pia now. Missed my dear like siao. Haiz.. Terrible life. Really doubt any god exists. The world is SO freaking unfair. In a bad mood. But looking forward to toking to my gf on the phone later.. Hee... Today feel like listening to all my techno and link park albums to relieve stress.
A short low class poem to express my feelings today. This is not my regular poetry standard.
The first ray of light from doom,
starts off the terrible day,
and shines right into my room,
right onto the eyes of Weikiat Tay.
Fuck that fucking mounteverest of homework,
Fuck that stupid school adminstration.
Why do i have to do so much work?
And die from my desperation.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Various changes to site
Did some changes to this site cos so sian today and nothing better to do. There are lots of hw, but i donno how to do them so i have nth to do.
Created a new non-flash version of this website/blog. Hope u guys like it. You can visit it by clicking on the "Visit non-flash version >>" link on the start page or click here
Created a new non-flash version of this website/blog. Hope u guys like it. You can visit it by clicking on the "Visit non-flash version >>" link on the start page or click here
Saturday, April 09, 2005
LOVE
Webster's New World College Dictionary says this:
love (luv)
1) a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons
2) an expression of one's love or affection
3) a feeling of brotherhood and good will toward other people
4) a. strong liking for or interest in something (love of music) b. the object of such liking
5) a. a strong, usually passionate, affection of one person for another, based in part on sexual attraction b. the person who is the object of such an affection; sweetheart; lover
6) a. sexual passion b. sexual intercourse
7) tennis score of zero
8 Theol.) a. God's tender regard and concern for mankind b. mankind's devotion to and desire for God as supreme good
Pride
Having some pride in yourself and what you do or have done is a good thing. It gives you self confidence and boosts your self esteem. But you should let go of it, at least some of it, when you are in a relationship. (Keep in mind I am not saying let go of all of it). The type of pride a person should get rid of is the type that makes a person believes he or she is right all the time. If you believe that you are right, that's good. You have your belief, I respect that. However, you should learn to accept or respect the other person's belief and opinions. Many people become defensive about stuff that is mentioned by the other person when it comes in conflict with their belief, which often results in arguments. That should not happen. Your special someone is not your boyfriend or girlfriend without a reason. Learn to respect their beliefs or opinions and trust that they will respect yours as well. When there is conflict, don't just listen; THINK about what they are saying. If you realize you are wrong, you have to be able to accept that and admit it. Your bf or gf will not laugh at you or look down on you if you admit you are wrong.
Trust
Trust is a key ingredient in relationship. Learn to trust the other person. Of course, I understand you are probably thinking that "hey, it is easy for you to say." I agree with that. It is easy to say than do. I will be blunt about this: if you cannot seem to trust who you are with, then either you are just not ready for any relationships or he/she is not the person for you to be with. Trust with friends can be given time to be formed. But having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a different thing. It is a must from the very beginning of a relationship. Why would you want to be with someone you cannot trust? You are truly committed to the relationship because you like the other person and trust them. So if they are out with their friends, let them be. Trust them to be doing the right thing. Don't call all the time asking where they are, what are they doing, and who are they with. Give them their freedom because relationship should not be a handcuff. If your girlfriend with another guy, that does not necessarily mean she is flirting with him or having sex with him. Trust her. Vice versa.
Jealousy
In an overall definition, jealousy is the sign of a lack of trust. You don't want the a person of the opposite sex, or sometimes even as worse as a person of the same sex, to be with your special someone because you are afraid that they might do something, such as cheating on you. But like I said in the topic above on trust, you need to learn to trust your boy or girl in not having any affairs with another person. If you cannot trust them no matter how hard you try, then like I mentioned, either you are not ready for a relationship or your guy or girl isn't the right person for you because sometimes it's their action or feelings that make you feel that way. There are however, an exception which I have personally been through that slightly modifies the definition of jealousy. You may trust them and know that they will not cheat on you, but still feel jealous. Why? And how? Simply because you like them so much (or sometimes because you are possessive) that you want them to show how much they like you back by giving their attention to you and not to others. You would want them to be with you and not with others. When you feel this way, it is ALWAYS best to talk to your partner about it and solve it together.
Friends
**This situation depends on you. If you do not accept what I'm about to say, it's okay**There are often situations that occur in which there are two friends who like the same person. It is understandable, that if you were involved in the situation as one of the two friends who like the same person, you would typically be caring for your friend and give up the person for him/her in order to keep the friendship. Just to make things easier, say you are the girl (sry guys =P ) and you and your other friend likes this guy. You gave him up because you did not want to hurt your friend, even though you like him a lot + he has shown interests in you. Is that the right thing to do? Before I answer that question, what is the definition of a TRUE friend? There is a complicated definition to it, but one part is that a true friend would want his/her friend to be happy and would have no regrets if that happens. Now lets see an example.
This is like a situation of two worms and one bird. The two worms have the same wish, which is to not get eaten (but in this case both people want to be with that third person). But in the eyes of the bird, all it is thinking about is, "I'm hungry. This one looks more appealing to me. I have more interest in this one." … or "Damn I'm one hungry, feathery mofo, I'll take both of you!" lol joking about the second part. But yes, as I have explained, it really depends on the other person too. If he has shown interest in your friend, then let them be together because you, as a true friend, would want her to be happy. But if he shows interest in you the same way you showed him, go for it. I know you are thinking that I just mentioned how a true friend would want his/her friend to be happy. But remember the last part. I said without regrets. If she is your true friend, she would be happy that you two are together happily and she would not be hurt, so don't feel bad about it. I know it sounds harsh, but if she is your true friend, she would want the best for you. And plus, if she acts all hurt and stuff, although it is understandable in a certain way, she needs to learn to grow up because... just because she likes him doesn't mean she can be with him. Would a relationship work if he has no interest in her? No. If people are not meant to be, then they just aren't. It's life, it’s the reality, deal with it and grow up.
Parents
Arghh... parents. More than often, parents will stand in you way with your special someone. They may not like your special someone and they may be critical of him or her. A good communication with your parents and his/her parents is always good. Show them how you feel and your parents should understand you and support you. But then of course, there are times in which your parents, or his/her parents, are very stubborn, protective, or unsupportive about the relationship you two are having.. or for whatever other reasons they are using. Tough it out. Don't let parents get in your way if you two like/love each other a lot. This may sound really wrong, and I'm sorry about it, but parents are not supposed to ruin your happiness. If they tell you that you cannot be with him or her without a good reason (such as he/she is doing drugs, breaking laws) then they are not being caring and supportive as parents should be. You have the right to be happy. It is your life in the future, not theirs. Do you really want them to ruin it for you? I am sure that they would want their son or daughter to live a happy and successful life in the future than a life with an abusive husband or uncaring wife. You like your bf or gf because you believe you have a chance with him/her in the future whether the chance is 100% or not and that he/she can take care of you and be there for you. So if your parents dislike your special someone without a good reason, tough it out. Eventually things will work out. Hope that they will understand and accept him/her over time. If they are still against it, I still think you two should stay together forever even though it is against their own will. I believe that in true love, there should be nothing that will stand between the two people.
Understanding ` Communication
Communication is very important in relationships. A relationship simple cannot succeed with a lack of communication... or good communication. Sometimes, it is not bad to be wordy. Give them details about certain stuff to prevent confusions and misunderstandings that may possibly occur later on. I'm not saying that you should tell your boy or girl everything. Would he want to know in detail about your period? Would she want to know how many times you’ve picked your nose today? I doubt it. I'm sure you get my point. Ladies, if you are feeling bad about something, tell him how you feel! Tell him whether he asked you or not about how you feel. Don't be a child and be like 'Oh he doesn't seem to care so I won't tell him unless he asks.' Don't do that! Homies, it's the same thing for you as well. It isn't a sign of weakness if you show your feelings or emotions. Keeping things within you is a nono. When your bf or gf tells you something, be sure to listen to them and understand why they are feeling that way. Listening is not good enough, you need to understand. For example: If your girl is supposed to be going to the library as she had told you but you find her with this other person, guy or girl, DON'T TRIP! Be PATIENT and RATIONAL and listen to their explanation first because the plan might have changed in the last second and she hasn't had a chance to tell you. Don't risk an argument for nothing.
Distance
You have to know, long distance relationship is a tough relationship. In normal relationships you can have your special someone with you physically. In long distance, he/she cannot be there all the time. Trust and patience are essential to long distance relationships. If you really love him/her, you will learn to be patient and stay in it. Nothing can stand between the two people if it's true love, not friends, family, or distance. Take this as a test in the strength of your relationship. If you can make it through, this is real. Both people must really love each other to have this relationship because this is a big commitment. It will not work if they just like each other. Why? Because the liking one another is not usually strong enough to overcome the loneliness from distance. The couple must be strong as well and believe in each other, that one day they will be together and never separate =)
love (luv)
1) a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons
2) an expression of one's love or affection
3) a feeling of brotherhood and good will toward other people
4) a. strong liking for or interest in something (love of music) b. the object of such liking
5) a. a strong, usually passionate, affection of one person for another, based in part on sexual attraction b. the person who is the object of such an affection; sweetheart; lover
6) a. sexual passion b. sexual intercourse
7) tennis score of zero
8 Theol.) a. God's tender regard and concern for mankind b. mankind's devotion to and desire for God as supreme good
Pride
Having some pride in yourself and what you do or have done is a good thing. It gives you self confidence and boosts your self esteem. But you should let go of it, at least some of it, when you are in a relationship. (Keep in mind I am not saying let go of all of it). The type of pride a person should get rid of is the type that makes a person believes he or she is right all the time. If you believe that you are right, that's good. You have your belief, I respect that. However, you should learn to accept or respect the other person's belief and opinions. Many people become defensive about stuff that is mentioned by the other person when it comes in conflict with their belief, which often results in arguments. That should not happen. Your special someone is not your boyfriend or girlfriend without a reason. Learn to respect their beliefs or opinions and trust that they will respect yours as well. When there is conflict, don't just listen; THINK about what they are saying. If you realize you are wrong, you have to be able to accept that and admit it. Your bf or gf will not laugh at you or look down on you if you admit you are wrong.
Trust
Trust is a key ingredient in relationship. Learn to trust the other person. Of course, I understand you are probably thinking that "hey, it is easy for you to say." I agree with that. It is easy to say than do. I will be blunt about this: if you cannot seem to trust who you are with, then either you are just not ready for any relationships or he/she is not the person for you to be with. Trust with friends can be given time to be formed. But having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a different thing. It is a must from the very beginning of a relationship. Why would you want to be with someone you cannot trust? You are truly committed to the relationship because you like the other person and trust them. So if they are out with their friends, let them be. Trust them to be doing the right thing. Don't call all the time asking where they are, what are they doing, and who are they with. Give them their freedom because relationship should not be a handcuff. If your girlfriend with another guy, that does not necessarily mean she is flirting with him or having sex with him. Trust her. Vice versa.
Jealousy
In an overall definition, jealousy is the sign of a lack of trust. You don't want the a person of the opposite sex, or sometimes even as worse as a person of the same sex, to be with your special someone because you are afraid that they might do something, such as cheating on you. But like I said in the topic above on trust, you need to learn to trust your boy or girl in not having any affairs with another person. If you cannot trust them no matter how hard you try, then like I mentioned, either you are not ready for a relationship or your guy or girl isn't the right person for you because sometimes it's their action or feelings that make you feel that way. There are however, an exception which I have personally been through that slightly modifies the definition of jealousy. You may trust them and know that they will not cheat on you, but still feel jealous. Why? And how? Simply because you like them so much (or sometimes because you are possessive) that you want them to show how much they like you back by giving their attention to you and not to others. You would want them to be with you and not with others. When you feel this way, it is ALWAYS best to talk to your partner about it and solve it together.
Friends
**This situation depends on you. If you do not accept what I'm about to say, it's okay**There are often situations that occur in which there are two friends who like the same person. It is understandable, that if you were involved in the situation as one of the two friends who like the same person, you would typically be caring for your friend and give up the person for him/her in order to keep the friendship. Just to make things easier, say you are the girl (sry guys =P ) and you and your other friend likes this guy. You gave him up because you did not want to hurt your friend, even though you like him a lot + he has shown interests in you. Is that the right thing to do? Before I answer that question, what is the definition of a TRUE friend? There is a complicated definition to it, but one part is that a true friend would want his/her friend to be happy and would have no regrets if that happens. Now lets see an example.
This is like a situation of two worms and one bird. The two worms have the same wish, which is to not get eaten (but in this case both people want to be with that third person). But in the eyes of the bird, all it is thinking about is, "I'm hungry. This one looks more appealing to me. I have more interest in this one." … or "Damn I'm one hungry, feathery mofo, I'll take both of you!" lol joking about the second part. But yes, as I have explained, it really depends on the other person too. If he has shown interest in your friend, then let them be together because you, as a true friend, would want her to be happy. But if he shows interest in you the same way you showed him, go for it. I know you are thinking that I just mentioned how a true friend would want his/her friend to be happy. But remember the last part. I said without regrets. If she is your true friend, she would be happy that you two are together happily and she would not be hurt, so don't feel bad about it. I know it sounds harsh, but if she is your true friend, she would want the best for you. And plus, if she acts all hurt and stuff, although it is understandable in a certain way, she needs to learn to grow up because... just because she likes him doesn't mean she can be with him. Would a relationship work if he has no interest in her? No. If people are not meant to be, then they just aren't. It's life, it’s the reality, deal with it and grow up.
Parents
Arghh... parents. More than often, parents will stand in you way with your special someone. They may not like your special someone and they may be critical of him or her. A good communication with your parents and his/her parents is always good. Show them how you feel and your parents should understand you and support you. But then of course, there are times in which your parents, or his/her parents, are very stubborn, protective, or unsupportive about the relationship you two are having.. or for whatever other reasons they are using. Tough it out. Don't let parents get in your way if you two like/love each other a lot. This may sound really wrong, and I'm sorry about it, but parents are not supposed to ruin your happiness. If they tell you that you cannot be with him or her without a good reason (such as he/she is doing drugs, breaking laws) then they are not being caring and supportive as parents should be. You have the right to be happy. It is your life in the future, not theirs. Do you really want them to ruin it for you? I am sure that they would want their son or daughter to live a happy and successful life in the future than a life with an abusive husband or uncaring wife. You like your bf or gf because you believe you have a chance with him/her in the future whether the chance is 100% or not and that he/she can take care of you and be there for you. So if your parents dislike your special someone without a good reason, tough it out. Eventually things will work out. Hope that they will understand and accept him/her over time. If they are still against it, I still think you two should stay together forever even though it is against their own will. I believe that in true love, there should be nothing that will stand between the two people.
Understanding ` Communication
Communication is very important in relationships. A relationship simple cannot succeed with a lack of communication... or good communication. Sometimes, it is not bad to be wordy. Give them details about certain stuff to prevent confusions and misunderstandings that may possibly occur later on. I'm not saying that you should tell your boy or girl everything. Would he want to know in detail about your period? Would she want to know how many times you’ve picked your nose today? I doubt it. I'm sure you get my point. Ladies, if you are feeling bad about something, tell him how you feel! Tell him whether he asked you or not about how you feel. Don't be a child and be like 'Oh he doesn't seem to care so I won't tell him unless he asks.' Don't do that! Homies, it's the same thing for you as well. It isn't a sign of weakness if you show your feelings or emotions. Keeping things within you is a nono. When your bf or gf tells you something, be sure to listen to them and understand why they are feeling that way. Listening is not good enough, you need to understand. For example: If your girl is supposed to be going to the library as she had told you but you find her with this other person, guy or girl, DON'T TRIP! Be PATIENT and RATIONAL and listen to their explanation first because the plan might have changed in the last second and she hasn't had a chance to tell you. Don't risk an argument for nothing.
Distance
You have to know, long distance relationship is a tough relationship. In normal relationships you can have your special someone with you physically. In long distance, he/she cannot be there all the time. Trust and patience are essential to long distance relationships. If you really love him/her, you will learn to be patient and stay in it. Nothing can stand between the two people if it's true love, not friends, family, or distance. Take this as a test in the strength of your relationship. If you can make it through, this is real. Both people must really love each other to have this relationship because this is a big commitment. It will not work if they just like each other. Why? Because the liking one another is not usually strong enough to overcome the loneliness from distance. The couple must be strong as well and believe in each other, that one day they will be together and never separate =)
Friday, April 08, 2005
Today
Today when to watch Samara. Visual Effects damn stunning especially the bathtub scence where water come out from the tab and gushed into the ceilings. Its damn real and damn zai!! Unbelievable lor... Can fight with matrix liao... Water is one the hardest thing to recreate using CG but they did it so well!!
Today is a wonderfully happy day as i watched the movie with u-noe-who and we enjoyed each other as well as we enjoyed the movie!
Today is a wonderfully happy day as i watched the movie with u-noe-who and we enjoyed each other as well as we enjoyed the movie!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Thoughts and reflections
Now these few days and weeks very tired because got alot of things to do and very little time to do those lots of things. Tutorial worksheets are challenging the bulk of mount everest while lecturers are trying their hands at making me sleep without an actual lullaby.
I also offically up for HPC Quest today even though i noe peanuts about it. Go there this year to gain experience and next year become president of cXtreme then can teach other people my experience and at the same time try to win. Although i highly doubt so i took part anyway because i am so pro at comp and it is just not right that i did not make my 67.5kg of weight be felt at any IT related competition. So you guys stay tune to find out what happen to my weight. Anyway.. taking part in HPC is no joking matter because i have to learn programming for 4 parellel linux computers and do strange things such as weather forecast(an example). Since i never use linux computer before, this is no joke and i think i have a wonderful time ahead of me.
Another damn sian thing is the Project Work which i totally had no idea how to handle. I have only figured out how to spell Project Work yesterday and seriously doubt i can do Project Work yet. It is another time consuming nosense which MOE want us to do. One really wonders what MOE is thinking.
At age like ours, from 16~21, the teenager is at the most rebellious period of his life. Smarter teenagers generally posted a more serious threat to the Gov as they most likely to be anti-gov. Their innocent eyes allow them to see the evil deeds that Gov is doing and their developed brain allows themselves to anaylse the situation. To prevent such thing from happening, MOE burderns pple from 16~19 with tonnes and tonnes of work so that smart students have no choice but to immerse themselves in such crap to prove that they are smart by doing well in those craps. Those souls from 19~21 years old are imprisoned for the time being in Military Camps in ulu parts of singapore to prevent them from spreading ideas to other Singaporeans that can greatly improve our life and greatly upset the evil plan of Gov. Like what the croakroach king said in the movie "A bug's Life", "Ideas are very dangerous things."
By the time a singapore turn 22, he or she will be so brainwashed or affected by such a system that he or she turn crazy, has no creativity, or both. That is why Singapore Gov has to constantly look for creative foreign talents. This is a direct consequence of their own dirty scheme.
Anyway... in this... trap that MOE has set up for me... i continued to function normally and creatively by living life my own way and not allowing myself to be burdened down by all these nonsenical work. How many of those who study physic become future engineers? How many of those who study GP become Newspaper editors or reporters? How many of those who study history become historian? This greatly brings doubt to the usefulness of our current educational system.
The trap that MOE setup with full support from Gov and Singapore Media is ultimate and cannot be gotten rid off. Already, life is increasing difficult for me. A few of my friends in top Junior Colleges are on the verge of collapse. Soon it'll be my turn. But unfortunately for MOE, my turn won't come so soon. I acquired something new that i did not have last year. The something that i acquired is infact someone. And that someone is my Girlfriend. Being with her makes me forget about all my stress. Her love makes me go on, makes me sane. Without her, i'll soon end up like a broken toy that MOE has grown tired of playing with.
I also offically up for HPC Quest today even though i noe peanuts about it. Go there this year to gain experience and next year become president of cXtreme then can teach other people my experience and at the same time try to win. Although i highly doubt so i took part anyway because i am so pro at comp and it is just not right that i did not make my 67.5kg of weight be felt at any IT related competition. So you guys stay tune to find out what happen to my weight. Anyway.. taking part in HPC is no joking matter because i have to learn programming for 4 parellel linux computers and do strange things such as weather forecast(an example). Since i never use linux computer before, this is no joke and i think i have a wonderful time ahead of me.
Another damn sian thing is the Project Work which i totally had no idea how to handle. I have only figured out how to spell Project Work yesterday and seriously doubt i can do Project Work yet. It is another time consuming nosense which MOE want us to do. One really wonders what MOE is thinking.
At age like ours, from 16~21, the teenager is at the most rebellious period of his life. Smarter teenagers generally posted a more serious threat to the Gov as they most likely to be anti-gov. Their innocent eyes allow them to see the evil deeds that Gov is doing and their developed brain allows themselves to anaylse the situation. To prevent such thing from happening, MOE burderns pple from 16~19 with tonnes and tonnes of work so that smart students have no choice but to immerse themselves in such crap to prove that they are smart by doing well in those craps. Those souls from 19~21 years old are imprisoned for the time being in Military Camps in ulu parts of singapore to prevent them from spreading ideas to other Singaporeans that can greatly improve our life and greatly upset the evil plan of Gov. Like what the croakroach king said in the movie "A bug's Life", "Ideas are very dangerous things."
By the time a singapore turn 22, he or she will be so brainwashed or affected by such a system that he or she turn crazy, has no creativity, or both. That is why Singapore Gov has to constantly look for creative foreign talents. This is a direct consequence of their own dirty scheme.
Anyway... in this... trap that MOE has set up for me... i continued to function normally and creatively by living life my own way and not allowing myself to be burdened down by all these nonsenical work. How many of those who study physic become future engineers? How many of those who study GP become Newspaper editors or reporters? How many of those who study history become historian? This greatly brings doubt to the usefulness of our current educational system.
The trap that MOE setup with full support from Gov and Singapore Media is ultimate and cannot be gotten rid off. Already, life is increasing difficult for me. A few of my friends in top Junior Colleges are on the verge of collapse. Soon it'll be my turn. But unfortunately for MOE, my turn won't come so soon. I acquired something new that i did not have last year. The something that i acquired is infact someone. And that someone is my Girlfriend. Being with her makes me forget about all my stress. Her love makes me go on, makes me sane. Without her, i'll soon end up like a broken toy that MOE has grown tired of playing with.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Big Fat Sleepers You Need This
http://bicillin.media.mit.edu/clocky/
Life sux...
Friday was 1st of April...oso known as the april's fool day. But as i live thru the fucking boring day, as i have done in so many of my days since i went HC....it's becoming no joke for me. Yes...april's fool day is no longer a joke.
Frankly...the fact tt i received no April's fool joke...except one belated joke from my dear buddy wicked...which is not even funny...makes this whole goddamn thing...as in my goddamn life...so pitifully laughable. Not tt these jokes will solve all my fucking problem...but as least it will relieve and numb it temporarily, after agonising me for a long long time...
Yes...i felt it since a long time ago...but recently this thing has become worse and worse. The statement "life sux" seems to be more and more true to me...and i know tt eventually it will be a fact...a fucking fact. And i know tt life sux not only to me...but oso to many other ppl around me...my best frenzs...my buddies...my classmates...basically eveyone single person around me...tt i could not fathom...maybe it's juz a bad month? Well...tt i dont tink so...because if tt's the case...there sure are a lot of bad months for me...
So...wat to do? Start crying lor. If u cant change the fucking goddamn thing...then u have to accept it...accept the fact that ur life is fucked-up...tt u cant possibly do anything to solve it. Well...tt may be eventually one of the conclusions...right now i m trying to change this crap...which has been sapping hell lot of energy from me...but i see no fucking light at the end of the tunnel....everything looks hell hopeless...Hopefully tt's not the case...pray hard...
Other things aside...HC life seriously sux....i hate lessons...i hate to do tutorials...i dont noe wat the fuck has happened to me. If a rational person thinks about it there bound to be some gd thing which i look fwd to in the school...but the problem is that there is NOTHING. To hell with it...wat the fuck has happened? Quit school? Tt i have been very very tempted to...i dont actually feel this way at all in Chinese High...even during the O lvls. Screwed! Realise how heck i m about the school rules nowadays? How i tucked out my shirt completely and walk around Orchard like nobody buisness? How i become late and put "Went toilet" as a crap excuse (which somehow work...i m not sure why)? I m tired...tired of all these nonsense...
But at least there is something...the ppl around me...although also feeling fucked up...has been quite supportive. For the 2nd intakers...at least jason and yvette looks friendly to me, and as expected they are econs students...not chemistry...The rest are somewat decent...although i nid to communicate more to them. My best frenzs...my classmates are oso very supportive...i mean...they feel fucked up oso but at least they help me feel better...Thanks...Life becomes meaningful with u ppl around...
But up till now...life still sux.
Frankly...the fact tt i received no April's fool joke...except one belated joke from my dear buddy wicked...which is not even funny...makes this whole goddamn thing...as in my goddamn life...so pitifully laughable. Not tt these jokes will solve all my fucking problem...but as least it will relieve and numb it temporarily, after agonising me for a long long time...
Yes...i felt it since a long time ago...but recently this thing has become worse and worse. The statement "life sux" seems to be more and more true to me...and i know tt eventually it will be a fact...a fucking fact. And i know tt life sux not only to me...but oso to many other ppl around me...my best frenzs...my buddies...my classmates...basically eveyone single person around me...tt i could not fathom...maybe it's juz a bad month? Well...tt i dont tink so...because if tt's the case...there sure are a lot of bad months for me...
So...wat to do? Start crying lor. If u cant change the fucking goddamn thing...then u have to accept it...accept the fact that ur life is fucked-up...tt u cant possibly do anything to solve it. Well...tt may be eventually one of the conclusions...right now i m trying to change this crap...which has been sapping hell lot of energy from me...but i see no fucking light at the end of the tunnel....everything looks hell hopeless...Hopefully tt's not the case...pray hard...
Other things aside...HC life seriously sux....i hate lessons...i hate to do tutorials...i dont noe wat the fuck has happened to me. If a rational person thinks about it there bound to be some gd thing which i look fwd to in the school...but the problem is that there is NOTHING. To hell with it...wat the fuck has happened? Quit school? Tt i have been very very tempted to...i dont actually feel this way at all in Chinese High...even during the O lvls. Screwed! Realise how heck i m about the school rules nowadays? How i tucked out my shirt completely and walk around Orchard like nobody buisness? How i become late and put "Went toilet" as a crap excuse (which somehow work...i m not sure why)? I m tired...tired of all these nonsense...
But at least there is something...the ppl around me...although also feeling fucked up...has been quite supportive. For the 2nd intakers...at least jason and yvette looks friendly to me, and as expected they are econs students...not chemistry...The rest are somewat decent...although i nid to communicate more to them. My best frenzs...my classmates are oso very supportive...i mean...they feel fucked up oso but at least they help me feel better...Thanks...Life becomes meaningful with u ppl around...
But up till now...life still sux.
2nd of April
The day after April's Fool marks the fact that weikiat and his GF are together for one month! This is no foolish joke! Weikiat and hi gf are still going strong and quite confident that this relationship will last.
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