Sunday, January 16, 2005
Try to make sense of it.
Evolution of ManKind - Tay Wei Kiat
In the beginning, there was nothing.
The vacant lands occupied all available lands.
Sea occupies many vacant spots.
Deep in the Earth, underwater volcanoes filled with robust energy.
The erupt, filling surrounding waters with utra high temperature.
Carbon molecules, excited by such heat, rearranges themselves into astonishing combinations.
One such combination is terribly unqiue in the sense that it can reproduce itself.
Life is born.
After a long long time, this single unique molecules reproduces into many different unqiue and distinct organsim.
These organisms constantly reproduce themselves, and through mutation, becomes more and more distinct.
Underwater sea creatures were born.
The sea is now overcrowded. Living things cannot away from a living thing withut bumping into another living thing.
To escape smelling each other's butt and armpit smell, certain creature(s) decided to leave his smelly pool an use its tails to push itelf onto the shore.
It discovers it likes the beautiful things called trees and sunshine.
It later discovers that it cannot breath and quickly went back into the water.
However, it decides to exercise itself by holding its breath and coming out of water to explore.
Soon, it stay on dry land for a few days without breathing.
Soon, it no longer needs to breath in the water, as its mutated child comes with a lung.
The mutated children of the mutated child also comes with flipper - like arms to help it move.
Since dry land is empty and big, it evolves and become clumsy and huge.
Dinosaurs are born.
However, some dinosaurs disable been called dinosaurs and slowly grow hair on their body and start developing the wonderfully beautiful, attractive and multi-purpose things called breasts.
Mammals are born.
One day, an alien zapped to earth and killed all the dinosaurs because a dinosaur had accidentally eaten its girlfriend's spaceship.
Only Mammals are left.
Mammals come in many different shapes and sizes.
Monkeys, been most cute and talkative, becomes very common due to their smelly armpit hair.
Some monkeys leave in highlands with tall grasses.
They have to be constantly on th lookout for predators that view them as food.
Because the tall grass kept blocking their view and because they are too stupid to cut down all the grass, they have to stand upright to be on the lookout for predators.
Since predators come very often because predators have no life, the poor monkeys have to stand upright for long long long time. They later find it impossible not to stand upright.
The tall grass also forms a prefect maze where they can explore it, get lost in it, get out of in, and come face to face with their predator. They then rush back into to the grass and get lost again. Their maze solving ability slowly developes as they become smarter.
At the mean time, these monkeys lose its abilities to swing from trees to trees as doing so on grass will cause them to plunge to their death.
Their body muscles becomes smaller, since it is useless.
Their brain becomes bigger.
Their head becomes bigger.
The female monkeys suffered.
Babies with bigger heads meant that those poor females who gave birth often died together with thir child because their opening is not big enough.
The Wise Ones held a meeting to solve this problem. In the end, they went around enlarging holes and smashing babies' skull into smaller bits so that the baby can go through the hole.
As their head is useless against smashing other heads, the first primitve tool is created to smash heads.
After the baby comes out, its skull will slowly join back together again.
Human, as they are today, was born.
Since our earlier monkeys has already decided against developement of body muscles, why should we bother about exercise? Our brain, which we had been dutifully developing all these years should be more often exercise.
Conclusion: Physical Education should be removed.
In the beginning, there was nothing.
The vacant lands occupied all available lands.
Sea occupies many vacant spots.
Deep in the Earth, underwater volcanoes filled with robust energy.
The erupt, filling surrounding waters with utra high temperature.
Carbon molecules, excited by such heat, rearranges themselves into astonishing combinations.
One such combination is terribly unqiue in the sense that it can reproduce itself.
Life is born.
After a long long time, this single unique molecules reproduces into many different unqiue and distinct organsim.
These organisms constantly reproduce themselves, and through mutation, becomes more and more distinct.
Underwater sea creatures were born.
The sea is now overcrowded. Living things cannot away from a living thing withut bumping into another living thing.
To escape smelling each other's butt and armpit smell, certain creature(s) decided to leave his smelly pool an use its tails to push itelf onto the shore.
It discovers it likes the beautiful things called trees and sunshine.
It later discovers that it cannot breath and quickly went back into the water.
However, it decides to exercise itself by holding its breath and coming out of water to explore.
Soon, it stay on dry land for a few days without breathing.
Soon, it no longer needs to breath in the water, as its mutated child comes with a lung.
The mutated children of the mutated child also comes with flipper - like arms to help it move.
Since dry land is empty and big, it evolves and become clumsy and huge.
Dinosaurs are born.
However, some dinosaurs disable been called dinosaurs and slowly grow hair on their body and start developing the wonderfully beautiful, attractive and multi-purpose things called breasts.
Mammals are born.
One day, an alien zapped to earth and killed all the dinosaurs because a dinosaur had accidentally eaten its girlfriend's spaceship.
Only Mammals are left.
Mammals come in many different shapes and sizes.
Monkeys, been most cute and talkative, becomes very common due to their smelly armpit hair.
Some monkeys leave in highlands with tall grasses.
They have to be constantly on th lookout for predators that view them as food.
Because the tall grass kept blocking their view and because they are too stupid to cut down all the grass, they have to stand upright to be on the lookout for predators.
Since predators come very often because predators have no life, the poor monkeys have to stand upright for long long long time. They later find it impossible not to stand upright.
The tall grass also forms a prefect maze where they can explore it, get lost in it, get out of in, and come face to face with their predator. They then rush back into to the grass and get lost again. Their maze solving ability slowly developes as they become smarter.
At the mean time, these monkeys lose its abilities to swing from trees to trees as doing so on grass will cause them to plunge to their death.
Their body muscles becomes smaller, since it is useless.
Their brain becomes bigger.
Their head becomes bigger.
The female monkeys suffered.
Babies with bigger heads meant that those poor females who gave birth often died together with thir child because their opening is not big enough.
The Wise Ones held a meeting to solve this problem. In the end, they went around enlarging holes and smashing babies' skull into smaller bits so that the baby can go through the hole.
As their head is useless against smashing other heads, the first primitve tool is created to smash heads.
After the baby comes out, its skull will slowly join back together again.
Human, as they are today, was born.
Since our earlier monkeys has already decided against developement of body muscles, why should we bother about exercise? Our brain, which we had been dutifully developing all these years should be more often exercise.
Conclusion: Physical Education should be removed.
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