Wednesday, August 31, 2005


a post

dont really have anything in mind when i came here, but then weikiat has been bugging me to write something and i figured that it has been quite a while since the last time i blogged.

hols are around the corner. a respite from the fucked up school. definitely a welcomed break for the escapist me, for the idea of facing the reality appeals me to no end especially it means the daily reluntance to drag yourself out of bed, so that you can engage in superficial and crappy activities that you never find a point in, to end up in tears realizing that the solution has never existed. and that's school for you. repeated cycles of that.

promos, unfortunately, is also approaching, as all teachers havent failed to point out. indifference. that was the only word i felt like penning down on the paper ms june gave us. results have lost its appeal long ago. a lot of things have, it seems. havent felt adrenaline for a long time. perhaps the pain is so excruciating that i have overinjected myself with transquilisers. anyway, i decided that i could be better off taking econs s-paper (the only subject among the four which i want to study) and not being chased out of my house. therefore sept 4.

the anime, full metal alchemist, puts its take on life and death fiercely across. and i agree on their perspective wholeheartedly. and here's my two cents worth. because the earth continues revolving whether or not you exist. because death can be likened to hurling a pebble into the a vast, boundless sea. an insignificant ripple admist the unyielding swash, very soon the pebble would have been eroded, and having its slightest trace disappear from the surface of the earth. that's life, unfortunately.

guess i have nothing else to say then.

Monday, August 29, 2005


Not accepted!!!

1. Introduction

1.1 Project Motivation Outline

Becoming a single parent due to the loss of the child’s lifetime other parent either through by choice or by circumstance, is a highly stressful event and may cause great grief to both the child and the parent(s). Any major change in family structure will result in such stress, no matter how prepared any person involved may be. No matter who is the one who created such a separation, both parties will feel the stress and grief of losing someone whom he or she once thought will life together with for the rest of their lives. A lifetime partner is the most important aspect to every married couple’s lives. The lost of such a partner undoubtedly will create chaos and grief in the affected parties’ heart.

Single parents may feel a need to stuff their emotions, keeping themselves fully occupied with doing things that can distract them from their grief for as long as possible so as to escape from feeling wretched and lonely. While feeling wretched, the parent still have to put up a brave and strong front in front of their children, setting a good example for the children to follow. It would not be good if he or she cries all day long in front of the child. This will only produce another cry baby. Society needs brave and confident people, not weak and miserable people who are unable to face the world. Hence it is important for the parent to set a good example in front of the child, not matter what.

The lost of a lifetime partner through death, breakup, or divorce create certain common response in a person that can be found in most people in such circumstances. However, each people grieve differently for different period of time. With the increasing number single parents in Singapore, it is hence important to develop a full package of service that helps single parents cope with their misfortune.

1.2 Project Rationale (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross M.D. Grief Model)
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross M.D. who was a psychiatrist and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying, developed a five-stage grief model that single parents go through. This model is greatly adapted and used in many organizations that provides help and various services to single parents. This is also the model that we will base our entire project on when coming up with our Integrated Welfare and Housing Service for Single Parent Families.

These 5 stages are not always experienced by everyone in the same order. Some single parents may also undergo certain stages more than once, while others may not experience certain stages. Events involving single parents or their partner may also trigger certain stage of the grief model. These events may include looking through former partner’s belonging or learning that the former partner is involved with a new relationship.

1.2.1 The Denial Stage (This can’t be happening to me!!!)
This is the period of time where the single parent cannot accept the loss of change in his or her life. This may be due to the fact that the loss or change is sudden or not anticipated. It is often hard to accept such unexpected or sudden loss. Hence, disbelief and denial will cause the affected to feel that “This can’t be happening to me!” Such a stage often occurs when the partner died suddenly without warning, or was caught involving in some intimating acts with other people. The single parent will often feel that maybe one day his or her dead partner will appear at the doorstep one day and explain their absence. It is simply impossible for them to believe that their partner is really dead. For those who discovered that their partner was not faithful to them, they may want to pinch themselves to see if it was all nothing but a bad dream.
Our project helps single parents overcome this stage by building a network of support between all single parents living in our estate so that they can help and provide emotional support for each other when need arises. Counseling services can also be provided in our Welfare Centre which we planned for in our estate. More elaboration can be found in chapter X.X of this report.
1.2.2 The Anger/Resentment Stage (Why should this be happening to me?)
Anger or resentment to the former partner is evidence when it is not the decision of the single parent in question to call for the separation. The single parent in question would feel that he or she is the “unlucky” one. Their thoughts may be something like “I have done nothing wrong! It is all my partner’s fault! Why am I made to suffer this? Why should this even happen to me?” Such flow of thought can lead to anger or resentment towards oneself or the partner. Anger and resentment is a strong emotion and can manifest under the smallest provocation. Anger and resentment can cause the single parent in question to lose control of themselves and do irreversible damage or harm to themselves and also those around them.
Hence it is important for single parents undergoing such a stage to live in our estate which provides an ideal environment for them. They will be living with people who had underwent the same thing as them and who would not provoke the single parent in question until acts of violence through excessive rage had chance to manifest themselves and cause irreversible harm. Our planned Welfare Centre can also monitor single parents undergoing such a stage closely to provide tailor-made counseling services.
1.2.3 The Bargaining Stage (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
This stage often occurs as a result of the denial stage. The single parent in question will start making deals or promise with themselves in order to change the situation, in order to get their former partners back. Those with a dead spouse may bargain with god for chance to meet their dead spouse again, those with broken relationship may try to compromise or negotiate a reunion with their former partner if hopes of repairing the relationship still exists.
Our planned Welfare Centre can make such reunion a reality with capable counselors and careful planning with close cooperation with the single parent in need of our help.
1.2.4 The Depression Stage (I don’t care anymore)
Once the single parent in question is past the Denial Stage and has accepted that nothing is going to change the fact that he or she has now become a single parent and totally on their own, that acknowledgement of this reality may lead to depression. This depression is normal and not alarming, as this involves the lost of someone whom the single parent in question once thought would be the one who would live with them forever. Single parents in this stage may have suicidal thoughts, unrelenting lethargy and may be unable to function reasonably.
Single parents in such a situation are desperately in need of medication attention and extensive counseling. Once again, our Welfare Centre can do the job.
1.2.5 The Acceptance Stage
In this stage, the single parent in question is finally able to accept his or her current state and have positive feelings about his or her abilities to move forward. The future will seem bright and cheerful all of a sudden and life will seem bearable enough to live on. Some single parents may find that he or she is ready to accept a new partner into their life to help look after themselves and their children.
Matchmaking services provided in our estate can provide for our clients in this aspect.
1.2.6 Financial Asistance
Other than providing for the emotional needs for single parents, our project will also provide financial help in the form of subsidies for single parents who are unable to afford the flats. Textbook sharing can also be put into place to help needy students who are children of single parents living in the estate.
(add more.. I unsure what other stuffs we planned)
1.2.7 Etc… (What other things will our project be touching on? I nid more info)

-------raw text----

Sunday, August 28, 2005



I have no comment.



Click on this image for a better view of the plan of TCHS

WOW! This is amazing! Chinese high is so damned big! The one circled in white is TCHS, red is NYGH and yellow is NJC!!!

Saturday, August 27, 2005


A long time

A long time

It has being a long time since I last blog properly on my blog… haiz.. maybe its time to tell people more about what is happening to me and what I made to happen on other people.

Blog Design

Well.. as u can see, my blog now has a new design. It combines key elements of the old flash and non-flash blog, making it one of the most flexible and powerful design ever! I’m not sure about its aesthetic appeal though.

Some people claims that this new design is “nice”, while one particular person whom I cared for so so so much causally remarked “lame” which causes me to care less about her immediately because there is no point caring about someone who doesn’t care.

Oh well.. just kidding..

School Work

Finally, I will catch up wif FMA (if I work hard tml and finish tutorial 15 section b) and caught up with FMB (starting to do mechanics 2 soon) and physic (no nid do tutorial one)… Yeah! I’m out of tutorial lagging hell.. Haiz.. but I do not know what that I didn’t know. There is still a lot of knowledge to acquire the knowledge of.

Promo Exams

Was quite happy to discover that most of the topics that resulted in my flop of FMA test during the common test will not be coming out in the promo. So good luck to me!!!

Computing Coursework

I shall not elaborate much here, but it is during this where I become increasing NOT in-favor of Alvin. During one incident when I told him that “Moral Integrity is important” (I firmly believe in this and let myself be guided by the need to uphold moral integrity), he said 2 words that make me hate him forever.

“Shut up!”

That does it.


JunZhe told me that he will never be involved in politics, simply because he believes in freedom of speech. This is very true. Look at how politicians restrict our freedom!!! We can say anything we want, if politics don’t exist.

Today, I saw an “ADVERTISEMENT” on mrt, stressing the importance of preventing mosquitoes from breeding. Although the motive is good, this simple poster demonstrated to me the power of propaganda.

The poster goes smth like this:

Ok good. Lets now take a look.
Let number of mosquitoes in Singapore be X
According to the poster, number of fatalities resulted from dengue fever (assuming 1 mosquito will only bite once, and one bite will cause 1 case of fever, 100 hundred eggs are laid each time) will be
X*100/50 = 2X fatalities

Conclusion, one mosquito will cause 2 fatalities, even when I kept figures at minium (a mosquito will only bite once in its life). This data simply means that for every mosquito in singapore, there will be 2 people dying from dengue. Wow! Singapore will be wiped out by now.

In actual fact,
50% of all mosquitoes lay eggs
50% of all mosquitoes bites
out of a few hundred eggs, only <100 hatches
one bite not = one dengue fever

Using this information, we have (assume number of hatched eggs is 50%, 50% of all bites result in dengue fever)

(((X/2)*50)/2)/50 = 1/4X

This figure is 1/8 that of the figure claimed by the propaganda..

Well, if you are still not convinced, lets examine this sentence:

This means that 2% of all cases are fatal. Wait a minute, the statement says “MAY BE FATAL”. This means that the actual fatality rate is only less than 2%.

If, in actual fact, there is only 1% fatality, you divide it by 2, you get 0.5 out of 50 cases are fatal. This fits perfectly into the logic that 1/50 cases MAY BE fatal, since the figure is rounded up..

Hence, the actual value can be any number between 1% to 2%...

The power of propaganda… making 1% become 2%...
Amazing isn’t it

In The End

Ok la… I’m going to sleep soon. Goodnight everyone. Enjoy JC life while you can(wait, don’t boo me!) because NS is WORST!

Friday, August 26, 2005


My fault?

Is it my fault when some idiot just hand up the phone without telling me wat the fuck is happening? and she didn't even tell me anything? And now people think i'm not understanding when there is nothing for me to understand? How do i understand when she didn't tell me anything? Idiots...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Sad and tired life

Feel sad and tired.

School is extremely busy,

I entertain myself my updating the design of this blog.

Bo Liao.

Sunday, August 21, 2005


New website back-end

Haiz… after busying myself at times where I should be more busy somewhere else, I updated this blog with a all new back-end system. The new panel on the top is just one of most visible changes to this blog. To see some more changes, go to the links page, and click on any of the links!

Thursday, August 18, 2005


Blogger for Word

A simple test… I’m posting this from Microsoft word using Blogger for Word

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


Ignoring the Ignorance (Let Me Be)

when people ignore,
you become the ignored,
but you don't ignore,
so you feel annoyed.

when people ignore,
and you ignore their ignorance,
you won't be ignored,
and won't feel annoyed.

if you look beyong the ignorance,
and not ignore those not ignoring,
you will find a soul that won't ignore,
and will bring you warmth and love.

Let there be light...

Let me be the light,
be the lighthouse in the midst,
of ignorance waves, unhelpful wind,
and guide you on your way,
to the shore, that is filled with joy.

Do not despair,
your heart i'll repair,
when hostility comes,
and destroy all the fun,
big strong light,
will wrap around you,
hold you tight,
give you warmth,
to escape from the cold unfeeling storm,
and pull you gently and sercurely,
towards the shore,
where the real fun are,
where happiness wanders,
and find home in our hearts.

Monday, August 15, 2005


A reply to zm

This whole chunk is taken from weikiat's blog. It is not that im here to blog because i want revenge or sth.

maybe i think i dun want to defend myself. but whatever i am gonna say will be sort of a defence. all i wanna blog abt is what i feel. not to go on a strike in front of weikiat to tell him, "you think you have blog, i dun have isit?"
Yep. I also need to defend myself from yr defence which seems more like attacks

so here goes. he claims that he has no time to edit the intro, but he has time for blogging, i wonder why. im being thrown with a 3 pages intro, and im expected to check the grammer and summarise. i seriously would not have mind, if i din just edited 4 essays and wrote another 2 for PW today. besides, he did copy and paste a huge chunk. not that i wun give him credit for the intro, but if you looked at the site he quoted from, you'll know what i mean. even my vice leader has got no breath to scold him. he gave up. but i din.

well... if you seriously think its copy and paste, i won't bother to spend so much time doing it typing out properly. I'll just give u the website. Before you assume, read EVERYWORD in my intro and that page, and see for yourself.

i became the evil leader. i scolded, i rushed my members. i din want to but i have no choice - the deadline is 2 days away.
We could have started early. Although i'm aware that all of us are busy all the time. I don't blame you for this anymore

And my members are dragging the deadline i set. if pple dun cooperate, i cant go on and write the conclusion. I have to finish a quarter of main body, the limitations and assumptions, and the conclusion. On top of that, i have to edit every single essay sent to me by my group members and collate them together. mind you, when i say edit, i had to checked out a lot of stuff myself. every paragraph i'll drop a comment. i can qualify for a GP teacher by the end of WR. no kidding.
Well good job. Well done. You are right. I respect you for that. I'm not some ego pple who assume i'm right all the time.

so when i started rushing, weikiat complains about his busy schedule. i totally understand that everyone have the rights to be busy, but pls dun make it sound as if we've pushed everything to one person. we have not. in fact, weikiat has the lightest workload, to only write the intro for WR. an intro, which is supposed to be at most 500 words long, is handed in to me. a freaking 3 pages, and im supposed to be so free at home to edit.
Hello? I was suppose to do research and design.. but somehow lagger did first. so i have no idea what else to do also... and intro mind u, i have NO data to work with.

i have exam this fri too, do you know? you're not the only one busy.
and your busy seems to come from the fact that you dunno how to prioritise.
you call lagging tutorials and going out with gf "busy"?
wonderful excuse.
I never once mention going out with girlfriend. I was busy wif external stuffs.. nth ajc noes about.. its about programming.. and done with people from other countries. I also have to maintain costumer support and product maintanence for my softwares, tangle in the political power struggle in cXtreme where the P starts trying to kick my fellow VP, whom i desperately managed to save, work on score-board for Inter-JC Chinese Current Affairs Quiz, attendance manager which some of the CCAs will soon see be using... etc.. i don't even hav time for my GF!!!!

Call this time management. Its impossible.

And wats more.. mine is not just a small case of "lagging tutorials". You see Mdm ong and Lee kao bei-ing my every lesson

it's not as if his attitude rocks either. what do you mean by "JC, me or Si hui should be a better leader since we are leaders of our respective CCAs.."?? dun make me laugh. i din run for exco, not that i cant get in. besides, does he need me to remind him that he asked our classmates to join C-extreme, promising them a 100% attendance if they vote for him as the president? It doesnt help that he went back on his words and sacked them when he became the VP.
Class mates have quited to join other ccas. JZ is still in cXtreme, although he nv turns up and we are going to sack members who are absent for more than 3 times. Sometimes i ask them to turn up because things are not controlled by me. But for JZ, only ONE absent is recorded. I'm not saying such a practise is good. But at least i value my words. Classmates accounted for 4 of the total vote. I received 16 votes in all. The other candiates received 9 and 6 votes repectively. Even without them, i'll win, but they are helpful and kind.

Once again, stop assumming. Please.

i dun need him to tell me how bad a leader i am. i know im not an excellent one. i dun even need him to prove my worth. hahs. and im not commenting on his leadership; there's no need to - everyone sees it all. my friends and teachers can testify to my character and capability. i have confidence.

his blog, was only one quarter of the story. whatever he said and did, he never did put it down. probably too ashamed to, i suppose. more than half the group is unhappy with the way he works. "you wrong she wrong he wrong, but im never wrong" - and that's his attitude.
Yep. if thats my attuide i'll just thrash this post into tiny tiny pieces and don't even bother to cooperate with the group. Thats final.

i'll leave it as that and say no more.

Saturday, August 13, 2005


Chosing a portable digital audio player

Me, with sharp eyes for nice look gadget and highly sensitive ears have changed the portable players i used over the years many many times. I have a tape player, 3 mp3 players, 3 discmans and a HI-MD player. Here, i'll provide a simple guide on what to look out for when buying a new portable audio player.

Battery Life
The amount of batter life the player has is very very important. It depends how often you will have to recharge it or spend money on getting new batteries. Generally, for flash based mp3 players with rechargable batteries, look for those above 12hours.(Because in actual fact, what they claimed to be 12 hours only last an average user for 2~3 days). For those that uses AA or AAA akaline batteries, look for players that can last 30++hrs using a single cell. Any more than that, that particular player sucks.

Also, ensure that the player you buy has REPLACEABLE batteries. If the battery cannot be replaced, there is no point in buying it, as rechargable batteries normally last 1~5 years(depending on the type), before it goes dead. Buying a player without changeable batteries is as good as buying a "disposal" player. It is simply not value for money as you will have to dump your player after the battery goes dead.

Players with changeable batteries also means that you can take your players on long trips and vacations without having to look for ways and means to recharge them.

Sound Quality
When buying an AUDIO player, sound quality is most important. There is no point in buying overpriced players that are lousy in this aspect. Players from sony, iaudio, iriver and creative are known for their excellent sound quality.

The most popular player of all time, the iPod, has the worst sound quality for players in that price range. It is costly because of its looks(which is plain and cowardly neutral), and not because of its technology (it practically has none) or its sound quality.

I did own an iPod Shuffle that comes with my singtel plan. The sound quality is OK. However, iPod is really overpriced with audio of that kind of quality. Cheap brands from china like Wee!Waa! has players that sounds identical to iPod shuffle, and comes with fm radio, voice recorder and OLED(Much better than LCD display!) screen for roughly half the price.

Ya, and the Signature White Earbuds sounds like a radio gurgling in my toilet bowl. Luckily, it attained enlightment 3 weeks later when it broke down.

Is it worth it?
Buying a portable audio player is about sound quality. If it fails in this aspect, should it even qualify to be an audio player? iPod is an example of an overpriced toy that claims to be an audio player.

Another thing to take into consideration is the technology involved. While flash based players are small and harddrive-based players can store tonnes of songs, i generally do not recommend people to buy them. Technologies like flash-storage and harddrive disks progressed fast and within 9months you see audio players of the same model at the same price but at twice the amount of memory as 9 mnths ago. Hence, it is a lose-lose situation to purchase players based on such technologies. IT IS NOT WORTH IT!

So what other digital audio player that does not rely on the amount of memory it has to decide its price? Well, the answer is obvious.

SONY HI-MD Players.

They can be used for:
-recording ultra high quality sound(recordings done on mp3 players are junk compared to this)
-Line in recording (Record from anywhere! Your friends ipod, your tv, yr gameboyadvance, your discman, backup your tapes... anything! Without a use of computer!)
-File Storage. A 1GB Hi-MD cost 12.50bucks. A 1GB SD card costs 100++bucks. No nid to say more. And ya, a 70min normal MD that costs around 2 bucks can be used to stored 280mb of files.
-Ultra high sound quality. Remember your walkmans? Those are all made by Sony! Sony is known for their high quality sound. Hi-MD too.
-Forget MP3! Sony's new atrac3plus audio format allows you to store files at 64kbps (half of mp3's 128kbps) with virtually the same sound quality! I've tested this myself with my high-end 80++bucks earphone and spotted little or no difference. This means that 1GB Hi-MD can store 2GB worth of your collection of MP3s.. WOW!
-Quality is key! For those who has super sensitive ears like me who puke when listening to iPod, you can have ultra high quality music on Hi-MD! 256kbps atrac3plus audio sounds as if you are listening directly from your discman. If you still feel its not good enough, you can always record music UNCOMPRESSED directly from anywhere! This means you can getup your CDs without any lost of sound quality!
-It is worth it. The price of the player seldom drops, as the price does not depends on the amount of memory it comes with! Remember! Hi-MD Players uses removeable MD sold seperately.! Buy as much as you want! Its really cheap!
-Easy to use transfering software. Unlike iTunes that forces you to use its library in order to transfer music to your ipod (music on your iPod gets deleted AUTOMATICALLY if the original files are no longer in iTunes library or on your computer harddisk. I kept losing music everytime i use iTunes to transfer files to and fro my iPod Shuffle) Sony digital audio players uses sony stage. It has much better interface and doesn't have sneaky programs like ipodservice.exe running without you knowing whenever you turn on your computer. Although converting from mp3 to atrac3plus takes time, it is definitely worth the wait as you get to fit twice the amount of music in 1Gb as compared to using mp3 format. Also, audio files converted to atrac3plus format that are stored on your computer can be automatically deleted by SonicStage to save harddisk space. iTunes only know how to waste your RAM(ipodservice.exe) and harddisk space(you MUST HAVE A COPY OF FILES THAT YOU PLACE IN YOUR IPOD ON YOUR HARDDRIVE EVERYTIME YOU CONNECT YOUR IPOD! OTHERWISE, iTunes will delete them from you iPod AUTOMATICALLY!!!!)

Well.. so the verdict is out. iPod can burn in hell with its claimed 12hours(but actually more like 6hrs) battery life, be dumped within 1~5 years due to dead batteries, get corrupted or spoilt when dropped on to the floor (Harddrive based players spoils easily as the reading/recording needle on the harddrive can scratch the disk surface accidentally during drops. Sony's harddrive players prevent this by having a motion sensor that moves the needle away when it sense that the device is dropping onto the floor. HI-MD don't need such protection. You can even wash a MD disc inside a washing machine and still use it!) and get frustrated everytime you plug your ipod into the computer and discover iTunes slowly deleting all your songs just because you have moved the original copies somewhere else.

Just in case, for those who loves the idea of having scroll wheels, look at the picture of my Hi-MD player below. That should make you happy.

Be Smart! Be High! Go Hi-MD!

(Yeah.. i'm too sleepy when i'm typing this... so bad english pardon me please thank you. :P)

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Sorry dear

Sorry dear for what i have done wrong.
Sorry dear for qi fu-ing you.
Sorry dear for breaking my promise
Sorry dear for dao-ing you.
Sorry dear for being such a bad boyfriend.

Thank you dear for giving me another chance.
Thank you dear for puting up with me.
Thank you dear for listening to me.
Thank you dear for tolerating me.
Thank you dear for everything.

I love you dear. Please may our relationship last forever.
I cannot live without you.

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