Monday, October 17, 2005



This is going to be a long post, so please bear with me.
This will be divided into sub topics, in order to remind you of your PW WR and gently suggest that we should all bang our head against MOE building in an attempt to dent it.
1 Leisure

Current games installed on my comp:
-Need for speed underground2
-metal slug 2
-metal slug 4
-Little fighter 2 reinforced.
-Diablo 2 LOD
-Counterstrike: Condition Zero
-Roller coaster tycoon3

This is how i spend the time i not doing PW or programming or watching anime.

Anime courtesy of Poh Wei's wonderful brother.
-Gundam Seed
-Gundam Seed Destiny
-The Last Exile
-Now and then, here and there

This is how i spend the time i not doing PW or programming or playing games.

1.3 Programming Projects
-XAM (Xtreme Attendance Manager)

2 Life
Life is quite sian. I watched too many late night animes and played too many late night games that my eyes are beginning to feel exhausted and i have stayed up late with higher frequency and success rate compared to before promo. For most people, this should be the other way round.

Anyway, this break after the promo gives me time to think. Think about life around us. Think about the universe. The meaning of life. The purpose of the meaning of the existence of life. The reason for the purpose of the meaning of the existence of life. On and on, like a program caught in an infinite loop. Yet, the capacity of my human brain is not capable enough to arrive at an answer. Any attempt to think too much will result in a system crash. I'll leave these questions to the higher beings up there to ponder upon. Not that i believe in their existence though.

2.1 Supersition
People believe in many things. Lets look at some of the things they believe in. And let me try to decipher the human mind.

2.1.1 Ghosts
First, why does ghost always come out in the dark, making people afraid of them? Then ask yourself again. If you are a prehistoric man, what will you be afraid of in the dark? The answer is, of course, your natural predator. However, so advance is human race nowadays that we do not have any natural predator, and there is nothing to be afraid off. However, our preception of the existence of the hopefully non-existence ghost since to spawn from this very nature of our brain. Our brain were trained to send our arendalin pumping if we sense anything suspicious in the night, as our senses are highly undeveloped compared to other animals, we can only be mentally prepared for watever we may or may not face at nite. It is this part of our brain that remains with us, allowing us to sense ghost, instead of our natural predator that has came and gone.

2.1.2 "My grandma says"
Ya. Don't spill the salt

My flow of thought has been abruptly interrupted by someone who is so impt to me. She's feeling wretched because everything does not happen her way and wants me to sleep "with" her. So goodnight everyone. I'll continue this post at a later date.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Of Motherly Love and Predatory Instinct

The calmest day.
An azure blue sky.
The gentlest of breeze.
Amid the greenest pasture,
The chattering of beasts,
An habitat teeming with life.

Camouflaged in the obscure bushes,
A dusky bulk.
Impermeable to the rays of the sun.
Headmost to him,
A herd of fleecing sheep,
Under the watchful her,
Feeding on the greenery,
Unaware of his presence.
He bides his time.

Swiftly he pounces,
The herd taken abruptly aback
and scatter.
But on the corner of his eye,
Lies an unsuspecting baby sheep,
An easy prey,
he thought.

He stretched his paws,
For a second its life will be sealed.
Weep for him not,
For survival belongs not to the weaklings.

Alas, she leapt before him,
Cuddling it beneath her.
A blanket of love,
Shielding it from the all threats of Nature.

But who dares defy the King of Beast?
Its claws sharper than the edge of a sword.
Its teeth deadlier than that of an arrowhead.
For when he made his move,
Raining pierces deep into her flesh,
Sinking his teeth into her organs,
And devouring it whole,
She stays helpless.
Endure in silence.
Pain beyond description,
Agony beyond words,
Her physical self tormented,
And departed in sheer anguish.

But she would not flinch,
Not budge,

When he left,
Blood continued to spurt through her artery.
And spill over the unscathed child.
It dyed the grass red,
Moistened the soft winds,
But the pastures remain as green.
The breeze as gentle.

Despite the old adage:
Omnia vincit amor; et nos cedamus amori.

Saw this in the Discovery Channel. Too shocked to write nothing.

The Latin proverb means this:
Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love.

The phrase is lifted out of context. I know Mdm Chee who taught me this piece of wisdom will kill me. But heck it.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005



So exciting is life nowadays that i sleep at 1am and wake at 5am everyday.

So exciting.


Promo over.

Enjoy while it lasts.

Sunday, October 09, 2005


Qict Source code gone

Just discovered the qict source code i retrieved from backup isn't the latest.

I also discovered that this is a version before i made a major breakthrough in the source code rendering, which took me many nites.

Damn sad now. Qict is offically dead.

Thursday, October 06, 2005



Suddenly nothing matters anymore.
The emotioned has evaded all my thoughts.
It has slapped itself right onto my face.
I cannot see anything else.

Only her, her face, is right in front on me.
Nothing matters.

I love her.



As you walk on in life,
in seconds of desperation,
blinded by dark shadows,
you break into a run.

Running Running Running,
memories of memories flashes by,
so fast its gone in a flash,
not thinking where you are running to.

Running Running Running,
away from the darkness,
that shadows your soul.
You emerge into light.

Standing still,
you glance down the hill,
yet you can't see it still,
as brightness blinds your eyes.

where ever you go, there you are.
Running Running Running,
alway from shadowy darkness,
to be blind by brightness.

Drenched in sweat,
dripping off you,
like the remnants of you soul falling alway,
returning to the dampness of the ground.

In blinded brightness you see the light:
You can't escape blindness blinded.
Its time to open your eyes,
and see where you are running to.

(Now you run,
aware of what lies ahead,
with pride, fame, success in your mind,
no matter where you go, there you are.)

You are what you are.


My Take

You represent... anger.
You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

Take the What Type of Friend are
quiz, and visit

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



You represent... apathy.
You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

Take the What Type of Friend are You? quiz

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Online quizzes. Dont feel like studying fmaths at the moment. In fact, i never felt like.

I used to be quite skeptical about the reliability of such tests. Not anymore.

Have been reading up more intensively (in my field of interest) these days. It's partially due to the fact that now that i am expected by my mum to coop at home to study for exams i have nothing to do anyway.

The more i read the more i appreciate how political science, philosophy and ECONOMICS!!! are inextricably linked. The book "Wealth of Nations", which remains the basis for the world of fianace, is written in a very philosophical approach. Henry Thoreau, a philosopher, wrote about the great concept of "Civil Disobedience". A learned person in any of these field would have explored into the other two realms as well, it seems. For a pure philosopher risks wasting his life in frivilous debates, a politician in winning elections, and an economist in making profits. Okay, not really, just a generalisation. But the point is that a balance between these fields are desired. If i could take any course in any college it would have been PPE in Oxford, but i am too inept, incompetent, inane, incongruous and indifferent to ever make it.

Right now i should just accept reality and go back to study fmaths. (Or sleep, it's rather late now).

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Of writing

From my point of view, pen to paper is definitely better than finger to keyboard. The latter sounds bizzare to begin with, as if it was overly contrived. Perhaps it has to do with the advent of technology; a generation ago the expression of idea via typing would have been completely alien. Typewriters were, not long ago, a fine technology reserved only for official documents.

It all depends on the point of writing isnt it? Writing is, in my perspective, not a mode of communication as others would have believed. Instinctively, our earliest ancestors learnt how to express themselves verbally in the very beginning. Writing came much later, and was initially useful only for recording places, i.e. carving symbols on a tree to keep track of where they have visited in say, a large rainforest. Recording remains to this date, the main purpose of writing. In such a case it would have made sense for the inscription to survive for as long as possible. One , for instance, etch an event in his mind so that he can remember it for the rest of his life. Alternatively, he may choose to pen it on a piece of paper. However in typing he contradicts his intent for the life a hard disk is limited.

But then since i am already blogging, as i havent had much choice about it since my pen ran out of ink and there isnt possibly a book store opening at this time, i should stop rambling and try to get the goddamn thoughts that have been floating within me out of my head.

There are nights when solitude in your room is completely insufficient. On those night you will have been better off elsewhere, such as sitting on the bench of a park and writing under the streetlamps. Tonight is one of the night where i have to resist such temptations. I was tempted, on this occasion, to travel on the last bus to town, something which i havent practiced for quite a while. I would have been alone without a destination to travel to. Yet it wont have mattered since i would have been in total oblivion, in touch with only my soul. Of course, I would have been jolted to reality by the driver when the route terminates. Since that would have had been the bus of no return i would have been trapped. But to be in a foreign land with your soul intact, that would have been the desired outcome of the trip. Isnt it?

To perceive the grass as being greener on the other side, only to find it of a different yet as sourish taste, isnt such experiences all too familiar?

PS: (On another note)
Weikiat, dont give up on maths. Still got hope of keeping four sub. Can make it one =)

I became a trend setter by being the first to leave the exam hall for clao with 45 minutes from time. Heard that many followed my example of leaving. Rocks!

I have forgotton tense analysis i learnt quite some time ago so forgive me if there are mistakes, especially on the Future in the Past (i tink). I may have made mistakes throughout the last paragraph do inform me if there is. I still want my grammer.

Saturday, October 01, 2005



寂寞沙洲冷 - 周传雄



I think this set of lyrics is so beautifully written. It's pensively poetic and yet simple to comprehend at the same time.

GP is screwed. I came out with the knowledge that i have written my worst GP essay in my entire life. My points are so flawed, immatured and irrelevant that if i were the examiner i would i have given myself a 24, not because i deserved it but for the effort. Physics is okay but i couldnt believe my luck, six mcq guesses and all six turned out to be screwed. 14/20, a mediorce grade but physics marks are of no concern to me.

My Chinese has atrophied. Words no longer flow as smoothly as it used to be. And this is very sad because Chinese is my root (for once i agree with government officials). Of course, this shouldnt be affecting me in practical terms, since i will be virtually scoring an A1 for AO Chinese this November, and that i am pretty sure that it wont be of much use to my future career. But still, it's a sense of loss. It's like isolating a part of me and it's not the act but rather, the realisation of the act that is painful. It doesnt matter if others tell me that my english is good (which i know it's not the case) or that they never gave a damn about chinese because deep down, I am a Chinese at heart.

But i am distancing myself from my heart with time and its voice is now so feeble. One day, when i could no longer hear it, when i could no longer feel it, i will cease to exist. And i am afraid that the day will come soon.


The Lengend of the Apple

The Legend of the Apple (2): The Doctor

Yes, finally, your favourite legend is back.

Well, not exactly favourite, there was only one episode so far.

Never mind lets just get on with our story and stop putting so many paragraphs.

The story left off when Kao went of to his toilet, the one in the kitchen in fact, as his mum refused to let him use the one in the master bed room, because Kao’s fart has the ability to stink up the entire bed room, including the bed.

Kao flushed the toilet. He felt terribly empty inside. He had virtually emptied everything in his body. He feels so empty that he may float of into the sky is someone gives him a slight push. He felt so terribly empty that no even half an hour later; he was back in the toilet, emptying himself again. It seems that the law of conservation of matter which all college students were preached about in school during physics lessons had gone for an early lunch.

What follows is an immense explosion of matter in the little toilet bowl of his. There was a precarious moment when he taught the toilet bowl would break into two, because of the thrust provided by the mass and escape velocity of his shit that had provided him. However, the strong toilet bowl held, and he escaped the hell of having to swim around in this own shit.

He flushed his toilet bowl again, and escapes the toilet, only to be pulled back by the call of nature just ten minutes later.

In the following hours, he had entered and left the toilet so many times that due to erosion, one of the floor tiles in his toilet popped out. But that’s beside the point.

His mother recommends that Kao go and see the doctor, which Kao did exactly, being a boy who follows his mum’s instructions blindly.

Kao went to the clinic and sat there, looking at the doctor.

The doctor looked back.

Kao blinked once, and resume looking at the doctor.

The doctor glanced momentary at the spider crawling on Kao’s sleeve, and resume looking at Kao.

Kao scratched his groin area for a while, a looked back at the doctor.

The doctor, being a decent and normal person, couldn’t bear this anymore.
“Yes Kao? What is your problem? Why have you come to see me?”

Kao scratched his groin once more, and with a fast sweeping motion, sweep the spider off his sleeve. Then he spoke.

“I come to see you because my mummy wants me to see the doctor.”

“What why is it that your mummy wants you to see me?”

“My mummy says I have a stomachache and cannot stop shitting.”

“Putt…..” Kao’s stomach said.

The doctor nodded briefly.

“Kao, I’ll give you some medicine, which you will have to eat, so that you will recover and no longer need to come and see me anymore.”




The word rang in Kao’s head. Kao’s previous relationships with medicine had not been good, and the taught of consummating with this old time lover was simply too unpleasant,

“Doctor, you no need to give me medicine. I already got medicine. Thank you and bye bye!”

Kao ran out of the clinic, bought sometime from a nearby stall that he thinks will prevent him from going back to the clinic again and ate it. This is much better than the medicine that the doctor will give me, and this will do the job equally well, he taught.

He went home, and was so sick that he his legs went soft and he practically live and eat and sleep on the toilet bowl. His mother had no choice but to call in a doctor, who appeared promptly on their doorsteps 4 hours later.

Kao was taking a short nap on his toilet bowl and was awaken rudely by the doctor.

“It didn’t work! Why do I have to see a doctor again?” Kao screamed, so loudly that it destroyed the romantic mood that a couple had built up in their little bedroom and just as the male was going to take off the panties of the female. They decided to try doing it later that night. They never got to do it again. The male was arrested by the police for placing racist remarks on his blog just some 5 minutes later. However, it was fortunate that the police did not arrive to see them doing it on their bed.

The doctor replied, “Tell me what you ate today and what you did today.”

As the tale of intelligent Kao unfolded around the doctor, the doctor came to a shocking realization.

“An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.”

In order to escape the possible consummation with the medicine that the earlier doctor was going to give him, Kao went to the store which sold him the first rotten apple to buy a second rotten one, thinking that the apple will keep him from seeing anymore doctor.

2 apples = 2 doctors.

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