Wednesday, March 09, 2005

 

Something i found on my brain.

Dear Khia Soo,

This is your mummy here. Aiyo... Mummy sa-yang sa-yang! That fellow Zhong Guoren is bullying my dear darling. I will not let him harm my dear son. Tommorrow mummy will go to your school and complain to your prinicpal that Zhong Guoren bullies you and try to turn you into a red guard. I will also claim that Zhong Guoren is illegally processing a copy of the Little Red Book issued by the long rot Mao. Prephaps the principal will then report this to MOE and the MOE will refuse his scholarship as he is trying to spread communist ideas in such a democratic country like singapore.

As for sports, my dear darling, there is no need to excel in sports. Sports give you no future. Besides, there are a bunch of people over at the newly established Singapore Sport School (SSS). Well, I heard many of my colleges refer to that school as "Smelly Sucky Shit", as students there are as intelligent as a bunch of bananas. No reason to compete with people with no future. We must be realistic here.

Regarding Zhong Guoren's language ability... Please lor! My darling boy is much better equiped to deal with those people. My darling knows already knows 6 languages, English, Chinese, Higher Chinese, Malay, C++ and Visual Basic. My darling knows both human and computer languages! He can communicate with everyone and everything around him. What is there to fear? Zhong Guoren only knows 2... of course he must try to excel in things he knows. Otherwise, he will feel very miserable.

Its not that Mummy don't want to give you a brother of sister. Its just that we, being typical Singaporeans, are as creative as a pile of shit. Mummy and papa can't think of any nice-sounding name to give to your brother or sister. It already took us a month to come up with your name. Mummy is very sorry hor. Hope you will understand mummy ok?

Also, what is wrong about going to countries like Vietnam to buy a wife? We have the money, don't we? My dear boy can have as many wifes as he wants. Isn't it fun for you? Wife from vietnam can cook, can live in bad living conditions (They can survive for weeks even if you dump them in the storeroom with no food or water). However, the main advantage is that they will be very very obedient to you and you can do anything you want to them. Of course, they can cook and wash! You can even use her as a punch bag, dress her up as a kitten before raping her, or even make her walk naked around the house everyday. She is simply your sex-slave. If you want, you can make children with her too. They don't smoke, like what Singaporean girls do, so they are very fertile and get pregnant easily. Then i'll have grandchildren to boast to my friends about. They will be very jealous and go home to scold their still single sons.

Aiya.. you don't need to worry about not getting any jobs one... The government says that Bio-Tech is important and many people take bio subjects. Please lor... this is the most stupid move. Bio students will be as abundant as birds droppings in Jurong Bird Park by the time you all graduate. Lucky my boy is smart enough to not follow the trend and concentrate on Information Technology. We are relying more and more on technology these days. Information Technologies confirm guarantee you a job. You read news of university graduates working as taxi drivers and toilet cleaners? That is because they follow the trends blindly. Needless to say, none of them are computer science students.

Ok lah.. mummy has to go now. I have to pub with one of my major client to win the contract from a newly establish China-based firm. Good bye boy boy. Take care hor. Mummy secure this contract liao got money will buy a car for you to drive when you go yo university ok?

Your Mother.




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