Wei Kiat's Blog

Life has been pretty much downhill nowadays, and my attention is too when its currently 12.33am in the morning and most of my brain cells are yawning away for their well deserved sleep. My typing speed is pretty much reduced, and so is my accuracy of typing and also my tendency to make sense. It will be pretty good if i can record voices from my subconcious brain while my fingers are tapping away on this keyboard, while my brain are desperately trying to either regain more control of my body or convince the other currently active cells to sleep.

Everyday i felt as though something BIG is coming. But that something is a bad something as well. School's re-opening. I can't help thinking how much joy, freedom and late nights i'll be giving up just because of my moral obligations as being an obedient student who listen to what the MOE tells me to do. Yada-yada-yada. All that stuffs are converging in a tight string in my head right now. Study this; study that, these are the points you have to score in order to be able to go to.... Life is as exciting as it gets. It seems like i'm living in a virtual world, and the programmer is some pysco who resets the world every week, so i'll follow through every single week the same way as i did for the previous week, while time is puting more hairs on my face. Only holiday disrupts the orderly time table of the lifeless life and i'm definitely unhappy about it coming to an end so soon. Yes i know its still 2 weeks away, but 2 weeks is a really short time. But still, i must humji abit to prevent people from misunderstanding me and sueing me. Even my subconcious mind tells me to play safe in this world where people enjoys backstabbing each other. A student can backstab a teacher by posting negative remarks on his blog, while the same teacher can stab that student right in his butt by complaining like some small spoilt brat. Still, education is a must and without MOE, i won't be able to type this. Prehaps those who are against MOE should be grateful because MOE gives them enough education to understand what the real world is like out there. That proves to bring about a weird irony. If MOE don't do anything, Singapore's in jeopary with all kinds of dumbass. But if MOE teach too much, students will be crawling all over their nerves. I pity them. Wow, my subconcious mind didn't know how to do paragraphing.

Lets talk about another matter that is close to our heart. Love. Yes, most or prehaps everyone who knows me knows about the existence of my girlfriend. It has been 9 months now, although i don't feel like i've had a girlfriend for 9 months. At times, i seems to grow a little bit impatient about having a girlfriend, while at other times, i can't live by myself alone. Being in love is such an unique experience. Everybody should give it a try. The problem is defining the definition between love and lust. Many people says that love should be a clean one, without lust and pervertic stuffs like that. But if that's the case why would husband and wifes do those things behind closed doors? Why are you born? Love CANNOT be pure and clean. Without human's strongest form of desire being placed on each other, love will not work out. I don't think that clean and pure kind is love. Its only "Like". How can a couple be strongly in love with each other, without a catalyst to strenghten it? Don't get me wrong. I'm not implying that people should love for sex. I'm saying that sex or sexually related acts are parts and parcel of having a strong relationship with your spouse. Such acts strenghten the love. However, you are interested in a girl or guy because he or she is exceptionally beautiful or muscular and would look good in bed, it will NEVER EVER WORK OUT. Sex drive is one of the strongest desire in a human being. Its like fire. Either you control it, or it control you. You can build strong lasting relationships by using such acts as supplement, but you can't build a long lasting relationship based on lust for that person alone. Love is quite complicated isn't it? On the contrary, lust is pretty simple. If you don't already have someone whom you love and someone who love you dearly and whom you wish to spend the rest of your life with, please be responsible and throw lust out of the window. Delete it from your brain. Reformat it if you want. I won't care.

Responsibilty is a very important thing. In the spiderman movie, spiderman's uncle was quoted as saying "With great powers, come great responsiblities." I know how fako and junkie hero movies are, but this quote makes quite alot of sense. Having power means being more superior than others. Hence, their welfare and well-being is directly or indirectly in your hand as you can exert more influence on normal people because of your "power". If you do things without thinking of the consequences, someone is going to get it when something goes wrong. And most of the time that someone is YOU.

Lets go for a tour in cyberland. In the world of hacking, and cracking and all those underground stuffs, black and white is hard to distinguish. Talented hackers and crackers can be hired by top security firms to prevent other hackers from hacking. Its about how they use their "powers". More interestingly, most IT Security guys working for companies run stimulated hacking attacks on their own systm to test its security. Underground hackers does the same thing, but they don't get a paycheck, and are on the wrong side of the law. Its really about how responbilily the powers are used.

Ya, by the way i'm suddenly in the mood to write weird quotes with many repeatition of the same words in the same sentence. Although some uneducated muggers who speaks english so well, with respect to other ajcians felt that what i'm writing is nonsense, but there is equal chance that his nosense labeling of my so-called nosense is nosense. Anyway, i've written a new quote. Take a look at it at the poems and quotes page. To save you the trouble, i've it written down here.

The more you understand, the more you discover there is to understand.

This will get abit tricky. Let me explain
The more you understand, the more you discover there is to understand, and the more you discover there is to understand, you discover that in fact there is even more there is to understand.... so on and on.

To make it clearer, think of the time when you are in primary school, studying maths. You think what you've learn is pretty much there is to it, isn't it. You would be thinking, "maths couldn't possibly be harder than this, can it?" But it can. In secondary school, you suddenly discover there is more to understand about maths. As you move on the JC, to university, the more you know about a particular thing, the more you know about the things that you should understand. And once you understand these things you should understand, you discover there is more to it. It is ever expanding.

If you understand, you'll be stuck in a prefectly crafted infinte loop. If you don't understand, just take it that i'm bullshiting.

Often, i feel that life around me is an infinite loop. As i mentioned earlier, every week seems the same, looping until the end of each year, where a new set of looping weeks begin again. Until the day i die, having done my best for humanity, finally retire for my well-deserves rest, returning all parts of me back to the nature.

I often wonder what is the meaning of life. Billions others before me, and also those after me, will be pondering this question. The fact that i'l never be able to answer this question is already taken for granted. People have been around for such a long time, yet a satisfactory answer has not yet been found. What then, are my odds of finding it? So for now, i'll just take life as birth, aging with changing chemical makeups in my brain to record my memories, shift my emotions, reproducing, and finally giving up everything i've achieved on the day i die. But what then, is the use of working so hard when all your efforts are ultimately in vain? Hence i only seek a fruitful life of fun, joy and laughter. Thats enough for me to die happily, on the day i die.