Sunday, January 15, 2006

 

A collection of thoughts

Observing the fact that my fellow buddy poh wei has infact been dutifully recording his complex thoughts in english all this while, i suddenly felt a pang of guilt. While urging him to blog by posting various comment on his blog, i have at the same time neglected my own blog by not discussing seriously (or rather, wickedishly) about the world around me, but rather making do with short sentences, quotes from others and photographs that simply does not allow me to practise my english skills, which seems to be declining even as i write this. Grammar has always failed to impress upon me all these years, with its dull and lenghtly definition in Dictionary.com:


+The study of how words and their component parts combine to form sentences. The study of structural relationships in language or in a language, sometimes including pronunciation, meaning, and linguistic history.
+ The system of inflections, syntax, and word formation of a language. The system of rules implicit in a language, viewed as a mechanism for generating all sentences possible in that language.
+ A normative or prescriptive set of rules setting forth the current standard of usage for pedagogical or reference purposes. Writing or speech judged with regard to such a set of rules.
+ A book containing the morphologic, syntactic, and semantic rules for a specific language.
+ The basic principles of an area of knowledge: the grammar of music. A book dealing with such principles.[Middle English gramere, from Old French gramaire, alteration of Latin grammatica, from Greek grammatik, from feminine of grammatikos, of letters, from gramma, grammat-, letter. See gerbh- in Indo-European Roots.]


Granted, one needs grammar to make sense, but i just couldn't understand why were the bunch of people who came up with english so caught up with the concept of time that it has to be present in almost every single sentence of the english language? Past tense? Present tense? All of these make me very tense. And personally i won't even care much about the difference between "make", "makes" and "made" if not for the requirement of the cambridge examinations. Undoubtly my way cannot last and isn't the right way but lets just allow me to preserve my own individually. Of course i'm screwing up my essays with my inability to make good with grammar, but as long as i can record my thoughts down properly for those who cares to understand to understand, and for me to find out what i was doing with my life 10 years down the road, i find my current standard of english suffice.

I have always wondered if i should switch over to the chinese language as a mean of recording my thoughts, but the answer has always been a firm no. For one, the effort in typing chinese words out would hinder my flow of thought, leaving me with nothing but perhaps only one sentence or less in each entry. Secondly, i find that the english language has this weird elegance not found in chinese, although i totally disgraced the english language with my inability to pronunce and do grammar.

Perhaps i should draw out my thoughts in a picture, since many had claimed a picture is worth a thousand words. However, how the hell do you draw out thoughts in a mind as complicated and at the same time as dim-witted as mine? I'm too dim-witted to have any idea how this can be done, so for now i shall conclude that i shall continue disgracing the english language, whether you like it or not.

Alpha list
I've finally come to term with being on the alpha list, although this is only term1. On a more serious note, i was wondering if being suddenly thrusted with the pride and requirements of being in the alpha list is a good thing for me. I'm one of those pathetic kinds who can become proud and slacken off when praised. Also, the fact that my result of A,B,O can push me to the top 30% of Anderson Junior College has shown shown me the stupid and hopeless muggers can be. Although Thomas Edison once said that success is 1% intelligence and 99% hardwork. But if you don't work hard intelligently the only thing you will get is a screwed up miserable little life.

Being in the alpha list open up some opportunities for me, such as being able to work on the AJ-Pi maths magazine and setting up of a Student Learning Team that attempts to improve the school. However, why do i keep getting this feeling that the teachers were infact trying to make use of our talents and passion to do their work. Everyday cXtreme's teacher-in-charge Mr Hong receives requests from various teachers asking cXtreme to do stuffs like update student records and prepare powerpoint presentation for them. Politely, Mr Hong turns it all down. The teachers are doing nothing but making use of students.

Self-Directed Learning
In line with the "Teach less, learn more" slogan that MOE has recently adapted in place of the long forgotten and silently abandoned "Thinking schools, learning nation" that had disappeared into the dark abyss over the years, ABC Junior College has embraced the idea of SDL with so much enthusiasm that everything the teachers refused to teach was classified as SDL. My previous experiences with the concept of SDL were good ones, but ABC Junior College just has to come along and screw that novel idea up completely. SDL were conducted in CHS, but teachers would still go through homework of SDL topics and clarify any of your doubts, schools like RGS allocated one whole week where student stay at home and do their own learning at home through online resources given by the school. ABC Junior College has none of this. When asked anything about "Power Series", our latest SDL topic, teachers would say that this is SDL and we are suppose to find out the answer to the question we post to the teacher ourselves. Teacher's didn't even go through the tutorial, and tutorial for the next topic was due on the eve of the Power Series test. Is this just an innocent SDL being conducted, or iresponsibility on the teachers' part? What a wonderful way to mess up the students, and turning holistic education into holy shit education, directly destroying MOE's attempt to help and nuture students.

While schools like RJC have time table that ends early everyday so that students can go home and study at their own pace, we were forced to do SDL with practically no time to do so. The GP department asks us to read newspapers everyday, but properly reading a newspaper would take around an hour, and that lenght of time is a luxury we couldn't afford. Basically the school just took up most of day and the amount of rubbish we had to do will take us well into the night. Everyday we have to attend school until in the evening, leaving us with only 2~5 hours to do work before we sleep a miserable 5~7 hours and wake up to go to school again the next day. 2~5 hours is highly insufficent properly read newspaper, do homework for 3 subjects and study for a test in the next day if any. Our new prinicpal had stressed that education is about the student, the school and teachers exist because of students, but the welfare of students, in my opinion, is rather neglected. Especially in ABC Junior College where virtually anyone i asked regreted coming to.

To those in alpha list in my class, please cooperate with in to form the Student Learning Team so that we can improve AJC.

Love
What happens when milk turn sour? You puke at it and throw it away. The same can happen to love as well. We just have to dump it and move on it life. But the process of love turning sour can can be reversible at times, and this is what i have managed to achieve for now. Lets pray hard that the preservatives lasts. It is impossible to comprehend how lonely being single can be when you are in love.

Stress
The last time i remember being stress was when i was studying for the Sec4 prelim in CHS. I was desperately trying to turn myself from a 20++ pointer to a 10> pointer within 2 months. No doubt, i succeed my a narrow margin, but its a process i would rather not repeat. But no, stress is coming up again now. Not only about academic work, but relationship and cca as well. My girlfriend has a very low threshold of stress and wouldgo crazy if stressed, while most of the time stress is something i am immune to. So i'll try my best to make her happy for now. I have a feeling that stress is just waiting around the corner ready to jump on me if i make any wrong move.

Conclusion
Although this is a terrible year, i'll make myself enjoy it while it last, for next year will be nightmare. Yeah and by the way, my birthday is coming up next week. So if you have any spare cash in your wallet, do not hesitate to get me a present. Thank you in advance.

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