Wei Kiat's Blog

on ajc's blog, it was mentioned by someone that ajc do not suck. It is the student that shape their own environment. Its the students that decide whether or not to make ajc a fun place. Well, weikiat here has something to say.

Before you say that we should change the environment, i would like to point out that in ajc, it is highly impossible. With restrictive policies, uncommited teachers, old and un-usable facilities(are the retort stands in the phy labs even useable?), lousy food(i can cook better than them!!) and much much more problem, we can never get much students to love this school. This school has a big problem. It does not actually cares for the welfare of students. Take the recent addition of the security checkpoint for example. What purpose does it actually serve? All we see is that the guard allows all car to enter/leave without any inspection. The cost of building the useless checkpoint could have been better used on providing better welfare and facilites for the student. Instead, our school only knows how to appear to be good or (act sei) in from of the public at the expense of the students. How many of us feel cheated now that we are part of Ajc? Where did all those good facilities, teachers, food that we seemed to be promised about? All gone. The only reason that kept most people happy in ajc is because they come from neigbourhood schools and managed to get into one of the top jcs in singapore. But for those like me, who came from top secondary schools, ajc's standard in everything is much much lower compared to what i had experienced in my secondary school days. How to you expect people to love the school or to be enthu enuff to make changes to the environment? As this blog title already suggest, ajc contains nth but muggers and muggers who simply have no life. They mug and mug and mug and later graduate from universities(provided they made it) discovering that they have no idea what kind of job they are good for and end up driving taxis. This is the problem with muggers. And since ajc is actually muggers united, ajc is doomed.

Time to burn

by The Rasmus

Fear of the dark tears me apart

won't leave me alone and time keeps running out

Just one more life, I'm so sick and tired

of singing the blues, I should turn my life around



Chorus:

Tell me why do I feel this way

all my life I`ve been standing on the borderline

too many bridges burned

too many lies I've heard

I had life but I can't go back

I can't do that, it will never be the same again

and I know I don't

have any time burn



they follow me home, disturbing my sleep

but I'll find a place, place where they cannot find me

maybe I'm lost, and maybe I'm scared

but too many times I've closed the doors behind me



leave it all behind

cross the borderline

face the truth, don't have any time to...

don't have any time to burn




A song with the set of lyrics that expresses it all. Has been scourging through Linkin Park, but it ends up that The Rasmus expresses it better, to be precise, exactly.

Guess the song doesnt sound all that cheerful, does it?

# posted by pohwei @ 2:17 AM 0 Comments

Not that i care much for my result, but being a chinese high student among a sea of neigbourhood muggers, i'll have to try and at least care abit. Also, my mum, like all other mums, know their son's capability according to the son's result. The only exception to this is Bill Gate's parents, who are the most supportive kind of parents you can find in this world, making Bill Gates the richest man on earth.

The Result
GP: C6
Phy: O
Maths: F
Fmaths: F
Computing: A

Crap, isn't it?

Haha...as i knew it, i wont end up mugging for the Physics Independent Learning Quiz, even though it has been postponed to tommorow. And because i decided that i am not in a mood to study and I have nothing to do anyway, i decided to post something on this blog again. Forgive me for the lack of content, or if i am posting on trivial matters.

ILQ accounts for 5% of the total physics promo marks, and if you mug you will get around 4/5. If you dont you will probably end up with 2%, which means that you just need 3 more marks in your promo exams to make up for it. Of course there are other factors such as "mum will murder you", "teacher decides to put you in remedial class" and "desire to show that you are better than the other/s", but after a not-so eventful week (or term, you may say) all these issues no longer are seen to be pertaining to me.

Especially today, when the apparantly "one of the best econs department in S'pore" decided to reduce the weightage of the econs essay component, in an attempt to improve the score of the cohort. I understand that cases like mine, where the essay marks pull up the MCQ and DRQ, are virtually non-existant. But it is quite hard to swallow when my 75 ended up with a 73, and suddenly i am not so good in econs after all. Not only did i have to cope with the disapointment, but it irks me to think more muggers would have scored better after this change (an evil thought, i know). Afterall it is a subject that i take pride in, which i see my future in. I've never imagined myself to be so affected by this block test which i decided to heck, but i'm sure i would have been less bitter if i scored a B outright instead.

The class bench has become more volatile a place nowadays. Definitely not my favourite hanging spot. Twice, a person has walked off me this week, and for infinite times the person has ignored my presence. It is quite surprising that i managed to feel no guilt, just a bit awkward, but that is because i have speculated it will eventually ended up this way since i know that person. They say we should never judge a book by its cover but for the umpteenth time i have proven this notion wrong. Of course, i have made my fair share of misjudgements, like how i misjudged HC, misjudged three-four, and misjudged myself. Misjudging the things that matter most.

Besides that person there are more people which i am not looking forward to seeing in the class bench, and i shall not elaborate on that. Today and last Tuesday improved my perceptions of that bench slightly, but the general attitude remains the same.

Last Tuesday a senior from 01s34 visited the class bench while the rest of the people are in chemistry practical, leaving me alone there. He was aggresively atheletic, 1.8m tall with muscular bulging biceps which are extremely well-toned and a "commando-like" face. But contrary to his looks he was quite conversable with and within a short while i learnt that he was ex-CHS doing his final year in Imperial College now, and he still perceive life in HC as highly enjoyable. I was quite shocked to hear that, but from hindsight, i probably should have realised that life would have been so much better in three-four if there are more people like him around.

Well, this morning my seniors were quite nice to me, my angel Rose in particular, and for a while i thought they have made my day. We've had quite a good chat. Of course, after trading several letters she should have known me quite well, and she asked me a question which left me stumped. Not many questions can have this effect, considering my forthcoming nature, unless they are FM questions. If you are wondering what the question is now, nope, i shall not reveal it.

Will be going through a heck of a monotonous day tommorow. Makes me feel sad that i have to skip Mrs. Koo's retirement celebration for harmoc practice, but tommorow's practice is extremely important. My decision could have gone the other way if i werent the VP, but there again i am and there isnt much point rambling on anymore.

Still find it harder to type than to pen down my thoughts. Typing gives me too much room to edit i have written, making the content superficial, and eventually my real thoughts are buried within instead. Guess this just needs more practice...

Seldomly do i post nowadays, as i find it absolutely redundant to photocopy what i have written in my diary over here. And i feel more restricted, more mentally impaired when typing, for reasons i know not of. However, rest assured that i will continue to check this blog on a daily basis for weikiat's more than interesting posts.

Block tests were over long ago. It was one of the most unprepared exams i have ever sat for in my entire academic life. Yes the results are definitely cognizant to my negligible efforts, with Ds for Maths C and (physics?), and a guranteed F for fmaths. I knew i have reaped what I sowed, but i didnt expect myself to flunk that badly. Not that i care much about results but my mum does, making any lifestyle extremely difficult for me other than to become a typical HC full time mugger. However, she has correctly pointed out that as a elder brother, i am to be a role model for my younger siblings. And yet i am willing to offer almost everything i possess to prevent them from feeling, from behaving as what i am now. Ironic, isnt it?

Finished watching "The Last Exile" during the block test period, a short 26-espisode Jap anime which narrates on how Claus and Ravey achieved their childhood dream when they cross The Grand Stream with their dads'(not really, if you watched it) Vanship. It struck me on how sympathetic i was towards Deco, a naive, peace-loving person who turned violent against his own will. Or even witnessing the misdeeds(or was he when he became unconfident and oblivious to others?) of Claus at one part of the anime. If i were to watch this series three years back i would have probably felt the "normal" way. Perhaps an indication that i am outgrowing my teenage mentality, but if so i am no longer sure if i am so positive about matured thinking.

Today is such an unlucky day for me that i find it more than unneccessary to pen them down. Maybe you would like to ask Rach if you are interested in finding out half of the interesting events that had happened to me today.

HC life still sucks, as if it is not going to be pernament. I am terribly missing Mr. Koh even though we still meet him for PW and we are only a period into Mr. Lee. Ms. Yang looks promising for her first career although i doubt she, or any other teacher, will grant OPs as generously as Mrs. Koo did. And there is this lingering suspicion within me that the impact of block test is going to make our class mug harder than ever. Count me out. Not that I am really part of the class in the first place, no matter how hard i try.

A Chinese poem which i have written recently expresses my all but delightful mood. Not that it expresses well though, i find myself rather inadequate with words.

志
故交远离身无伴，
胸墨已枯无心学。
愚孤酷织梦程荒，
少年不识愁滋味？

Often when me and my dear were out, we ended up eating at KFC because of reasons like:
-Long John Silver serving size too small
-Kopitiam too crowded
-Now got cheap (2pc Chicken Special)
-We like KFC =D

Normally, we order 2 2 piece special, and upgraded our mashed potato to Cheese Fries, while the other mashed potato was changed to coleslaw. Our favourite food. Yum. Both of us LOVE cheese fries.

Today, when i stepped into KFC for lunch before going for PW meeting, i felt a sense of loneliness washing over me like a tsunami. Instantly, i felt sad. I suddenly felt so lonely, without my dear to accompany me with whatever i was doing. I simply cannot get used to being on my own again, after spending so much time, love and tears on her.

Glancing at the tray, it suddenly seems so empty. Normally the tray will be filled with 2 boxes of chicken, 2 drinks, a coleslaw and a cheese fries, almost taking up all empty spaces of the tray. But today, it seems so so empty. Instantly, my dear came into my mind. Images of how she carried the tray to me (whenever its her turn to buy =D) came into my mind. The emptiness of the tray reflects the emptiness of my heart at the moment.

I sat down. The table is a small squarish table, with 2 seats facing each other. I placed my bag on one, and sat down on the other and looked back at my tray, thinking of her... thinking thinking thinking... It was quite some time before i took up my first cheese fries and start eating.

I looked at my bag. It took the place of my dear. Instead of my dear looking at me, talking to me, smelling at me, enjoying her meal and sitting there for me to admire and to love, there sat my bag. Stupid bag. I want my dear sitting there, infront of me. I felt extremely lonely at this point, so much so that i can feel tears having a party at the back of my eyes, ready to exit my eyes when the party is over. My food starts losing its taste. KFC started tasting like plain porridge. Without my dear i really cannot survive. I neeed her beside me. I love my dear.

I missed all the times when i sat in KFC with my wonderful girlfriend, happily chatting with each other, glancing at her, admiring the way she enjoys her meal, admiring her small eyes that she claimed to be ugly (haha.. she envied my eyes), admiring her long soft hair (which is so much unlike my hard dry one), admiring her look. To others, she may be ugly or just another average looking girl. But to me, she is beautiful. My princess.

I love her sweet clear voice, her small cute fingers and hands, her small ears that seems to me too small for most earphones, the way she looked when she smile, the smell on her body which i have grown strangely addicted to, holding her tightly in my arms so that she know I truly care for her and protect her, her holding my arm while walking together to show that she never wants to leave me, her giving me her drinks because she knows i'm a water tank and need alot of water to survive (hehe), her lying on my shoulder and falling asleep on my shoulder on long bus or mrt journey.

We love each other alot. The many arguments and unhappiness are just obstacles that we braved together on the path to our own "happily ever after".

May our love last eternally. We shall be together, loving and caring and giving support to each other until the day we die, hopefully together.

Nothing beats being in love with a wonderful girlfriend who truly cares so much for me, trust me, needs me so much to me, tolerated the unhappiness that i have caused on her, who held on tightly to my arm and never let go.

I will never leave her, as not having her with me is like a table without its legs. I'll fall to pieces immediately and can never stand up and face life ever again.

At the wake of dawn,
posted a simple question,
that all but brought a yawn,
for it eternally sealed their destination.

In times of peace,
unsettled waves lies hidden but awake,
for when conditions aren't ace,
anger and destruction follow in its wake.

From peace to war,
on an emotional train,
if a heart that pure they never wore,
sunny days will end in rain.

If rain never stop,
and sun never shines once more,
what that made them "Them" puked upon like a wop,
returns jove back to the heaven's floor.

In silence, he stood alone.
In despair, she wept alone.
Longing for the other that never came,
and so concluded the "happily-ever-after" that never be.

As above
It is often said that parents are your main support group. They give support for what you do and show care and concern to you. A slight correction of this statement should be more relevant to most of us. Parents give you support for what they feel you should do and only when you do what they want you to do. Ya... i heard un-concious "Ah... thats it" that escaped from your mind. Well, if that's the case, good for you! AH? You may ask. Yes.. Good for you. The best sentence that describe my parents is, they say they will support whatever you do and end up asking you not to do them and do housework for them instead. All precious little time i have for resting should be spent on what i was resting from. Shity Parents.

Returning from school today from a stupidly dragged PE lesson under the stupidly hot sun, i took the MRT train, stinking up every communters in both mrt and lrt, and reaching home an hour later at 7.15pm. Next, I walked around for a while, drank some water from the tap, then the first sign of lousy parenting appeared.

My sister, being a great fan of inuyasha and solely reliance on my trusty laptop to fit her hunger for entertainment, bugged in again. "Bro, quick turn on your laptop" she nagged. Well, she has been sms-ing me asking me what time i'll reach home since 3 hours ago. This is the first time she cared so much for me. Actually, she cares abt inuyasha. So i said, "Don't bug me lah.. damn irritating.. this is I DOWNLOAD ONE. I FIND ONE. NOT YOURS. STOP bugging me. IF YOU bug ME AGAIN, 50cents PER EPISODE please!" My useless parents, upon hearing this, decide that it is best to ban us both from watching anime, so that they can watch their tv in peace. This is fuckingly irritating, as because of my sister, i'll have to lose whatever only source of relaxation and entertainment i have. More trouble awaits.

As the rule of Lazy parents, anyone who reaches home the last and consume the dinner the last will have to wash up everything, including rice bowls, plates, and even the rice pot. This usually ends up to be me, simply because AJC teachers never follows the time table while their students are expected to do so. Talk about equality. The government is good at talking and sucks at doing. Isn't that what the government for? Recently, they even get us to do some toking, to discuss about the casino debate. Just when everyone concluded that the casino won't have to built, some idiots there earning huge amount of salary just to prevent him from being corrupted (this practise is even more corrupted) decided suddenly that for the benefit of the governemt and people, the casinos have to be built. Does it benefit the people? I don't remember the governemt sharing its wealth with its people since many many years ago. All i hear is increase in PUB bills, increase in transport fares, increase in education fees, decrease in cut-off for application for scholarship, decrease in the number of people who are employed. Recently, i happen to watch a TV programme that is broadcasted every weekday at 7pm on channel 8. no idea what it is called. I only watched 5 min of it and hated it immediately. I heard this dialog, "only 1K? Sure, its just a small amount of money. I'll lend it to you." Hm... are singaporeans really that rich? This is propaganda at its best. This simple statement can trick singaporeans into feeling that other singaporeans are rich. The television is full of disguised propaganda. Watch carefully next time.

Ok. Enough about the government. If i were to really talk about those out of touch idiots the skins on my fingers will turn hot and my keyboard will melt. Anyway, the time after i finished my dinner and washed myself using those overpriced water is around 8pm. Next, i'll have to wash everything up. Then, at 8.15 when i was shiting in the toilet, mishap strikes. The ever smart dad spoke, "You didn't wipe the tables!" Infact, i did so. If he think he can do a better job, why not he do it? Why dump all these useless housework to me when i one day will become a software developer and currently have a girlfriend who is nice and kind and capable enough to do all these in the future? In fact, my sister who will one day be a housewife, don't have to do much housework. She only mops the floor once per school holiday. Ok back to the topic. Now, while i was shiting in my toilet, my handphone (in the toilet) rang. My dear has smsed me. The next trouble strikes. "Why you go toilet also must sms. Everyday use sms so many things to talk izzit. Just use the phone. Use your hp sms still not enuff still must use ours? You very shiok hor.. so many smses to use." Hm.. i distinctly recalled that they offered to let me use their phone to sms since they nv use it. I also remember that i nv exceed my handphone free sms since donno how many years ago. And i remembered clearly that they ask me to sms instead of toking on the phone when they saw me toking on the phone just yesterday. Talk about good parenting. I nv experienced it in my whole life.

What i "LOVED" most about my mum is that she has a wonderful memory. She forgot that i'm in a JC while the children of the rest of her friends are in poly. She scolded me when i refused to go for "Holiday job" in feburary this year, saying that the child of all her friends have gone for it. She also scold me for doing very little housework while her friend's children can do. Worst, she say that if their children can do it, why can't I? What it actually meant is that she want to slack and throw everything to me to do. No amount of toking will ever convince her that poly haven't started yet and JC is hell. She is too dim-witted for that.

They told me that they will support me in whatever i'm interested in. They refused to sponsor me to go for the Microsoft certified software developer course and exam. They want me to stop programming and study for A level when all the knowlegde you gained when studying for A level cannot get you a job. They are stupid, self-conflicting people that comes from the times before dinosaurs, where every cellar creatures have no brain and are easy to lie to. I seriously feel that i should have taken the poly path. I want to develope me comp skills fully and become a pro. JC's computing is too easy, while other subjects are too useless. I got 80++ for computing, a grade that does not normally get associated to JC exams. Should have chosen poly. Regretted.

Whenever i told my parents that i'm going out, or whenever they caught me watching animes or playing games while i was resting from the hell of JC life, they ask me to stop slacking and do work. Hello??? I'm only taking a rest from the very thing that they ask me to do. How would you like it, if you are taking a rest from doing your homework, and your parents ask you to use this so-called spare time to do more work? I noe your parents will never do this. Because they understand. My parents never. One never finished secondary school, while the other only scraped through Olevel. Somehow, they gave birth to a son of high IQ which enables him to deciper the difference between what they say and what they mean. They give me enough intelligence to understand how PAP works and how public are manipulated. They give me enough intelligence to rapidly learn all things with practically values and screw up everything else without (I.E A levels). They gave me enough intelligence to feel that i am smarter and more aware then other people, while they can never be aware of what i'm going through, how i'm suffering, and what i need. The best thing they can do in reaction whenever i told them all these is the gentle and discrete motion of covering of ears.

And yeah.. they ask me to try to sleep early at 10pm everyday, when i have tonnes of homework yet to do and when they cover their ears at 8.45pm. 1.15 to finish JC homework? Fat hope.

And I forgot to develope the part of the brain that deals with spelling and grammer when i'm still a fetus.

linkin park - by myself

what do i do to ignore them behind me?
do i follow my instincts blindly?
do i hide my pride from these bad dreams
and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
do i sit here and try to stand it?
or do i try to catch them red-handed?
do i trust some and get fooled by phoniness
or do i trust nobody and live in loneliness?
because i can't hold on when i'm stretched so thin
i make the right moves but i'm lost within
i put on my daily facade but then
i just end up getting hurt again

by myself (myself)
i ask why, but in my mind i find
i can't rely on myself (myself)
i ask why, but in my mind i find
i can't rely on myself
i can't hold on
to what i want when i'm stretched so thin
it's all too much to take in
i can't hold on
to anything watching everything spin
with thoughts of failure sinking in

if i turn my back i'm defenseless
and to go blindly seems senseless
if i hide my pride and let it all go on then they'll
take from me till everything is gone
if i let them go i'll be outdone
but if i try to catch them i'll be outrun
if i'm killed by the questions like a cancer
then i'll be buried in the silence of the answer

how do you think i've lost so much
i'm so afraid i'm out of touch
how do you expect i will know what to do
when all i know is what you tell me to

don't you know
i can't tell you how to make it go
no matter what i do how hard i try
i can't seem to convince myself why
i'm stuck on the outside

i wAnt SLeeP!
sLEpT A total OF 19 hoURS maX fOr THE pASt fIVE days... VErY TirED Le... nEED TO sleEP. HAiz... zzZ

qICT 3.0.0 BEtA
fiNaLLY, aFteR sUch a LONG WAIT, qiCT VeRSIon 3.0.0 BEtA is reADY.

BeloW arE ExTRActeD froM qIct AUTo UpdaTE MaNAGer rEgArDing INfOrmaTIoN AboUt thIs new VeRsION.
An update for Qict is available!

Version Code: 3.0.0 Beta
Build Code: 0301
Release Date: 2 July 2005
Official Website: http://thecomputer.inoru.net/qict

This update includes many new features and improvements made to Qict. Many bugs discovered in previous versions were also fixed. Some codes are completed recoded to increase speed, stability and efficency of Qict.

Major Updates:
-Properties of each windows in Qict can be set individually.
-You can now double click to view entries of words in word vault
-Clipboard Functionality.
-Full skin support, with ability to skin background, text colour, window shape and buttons of the Qict search window.
-Bugs in options window fixed.
-Textbox in dictionary search window now has transparent background
-New improved dictionary entry processing codes that improves dictionary processing speed and displays dictionary entries much neater and more readable than ever before!
-Improved readme to cover more features.
-Many more minor tweaking and improvements for you to discover!

Please refer to readme for more information once you have downloaded and installed Qict 3.0.0 Beta. Thank you.

Thank you Vkthor for his useful feedbacks. You may visit his website @
http://www.hapaxium.com/por2all/
Vkthor is also the creator of the SkySkin skin for Qict.
Please take note that this is not a paid advertisement.

Please download now to enjoy these updates!

Questions? Feedbacks? Comments? Suggestions? Please please please feel free to direct it to tayweikiat@gmail.com

LoVe
YipPY! Today Is the fouRTH Month i AM ToGEtHer WIth MY DeAR. SeemS sO LonG Le... yet onLY FOur mONTHs. WANt To groW up Quick!